Page 166 of Kathryn

“How often did Helmut and the duke see each other after, er—” Katie broke off, at a loss how to phrase her question more politely.

“After Boon told me that he wanted me to have a child with another man?” Betje suggested, uncharacteristic bitterness creeping into her normally happy voice.

Heat rose in Katie’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Mama. I never should not have asked you that.”

“Nonsense! You can ask me whatever you like, Katie. Quite honestly, it is a relief that somebody else knows the truth after so many years.” Betje’s smile slid away, and she gestured to the ancient gilt bench across from the portrait and they sat. “After Boon spoke to me on our wedding night, I told him I needed some time to consider what he proposed. Naturally, I was… shattered. I thought I could never agree to such a thing, but—as matters turned out—I had my answer for Boon in less than a week.” She cut Katie a wry look. “Perhaps that reflects poorly on me, I don’t know. In my defense, I was young, in a foreign country, and I’d just married a man who did not want me. I had known Helmut since I was a girl and was comfortable with him. Of course I had never considered him in a romantic light, but after Boon’s rejection I just—I just needed somebody to want me.” She gave Katie a watery smile. “After I gave Boon my answer he spoke to Helmut.”

“That must have been an interesting conversation.”

“Helmut told me about it later, once we—well, once we knew each other better. He said Boon had been aloof but respectful and oddly humble. That he had made a request rather than issuing an ultimatum.” She paused, a mischievous smile curving her lips. “Helmut said to me that he had wanted me for as long as he could remember but had always accepted that I was too far above him to ever hope. He said his heart leapt at the duke’s offer, but that he had a condition of his own: if he took me, he would want to keep me.” She paused, coloring prettily. “He told Boon he would not share me.”

Katie already liked Gerrit’s quiet, gentle father a great deal, but now she was a little bit in awe of him, too. Helmut was so soft-spoken that it was hard to imagine him confronting a man like the last duke, who was said to have been every bit as daunting as Gerrit.

“It was no hardship for Boon to agree as his heart had long been engaged elsewhere.” She sighed. “I have hated Amelia St. Clare for so long. Not because Boon loved her, but because I believed she had taken Gerrit. I should have defied Boon and gone to Briarly and brought Gerrit back. But I allowed myself to be intimidated by him.” She shook herself, her naturally ebullient nature quickly rising again. “It is a long time ago and there is no point in wishing I’d done differently. Besides, everything has worked out well in the end. I am so delighted that you came to Spenwood with Gerrit, Katie. I believe he would have visited Helmut, regardless, but he would not have stayed nearly so long if you’d not accompanied him.”

“These past months have been wonderful,” Katie said. That was no lie. It had warmed her heart to watch as Gerrit became close to both his parents.

Betje looked pleased, her gaze lowering to the very slight swell of Katie’s midriff. “I wish you were not leaving tomorrow, but you will come back here to have the child, yes? The Dukes of Dulverton have always been born at Spenwood.”

“We will come back, Mama,” Katie promised. “And you and Helmut will come and stay with us at Briarly often. I want my son or daughter to grow up knowing their wonderful grandparents.” And Amelia, too, of course, but Katie wisely kept that thought to herself.

Betje gave a sigh of pure happiness. “Isn’t life wonderful, my dear?”

Katie slid her arm around her mother-in-law and squeezed her tight, her lips curving into a smile as her thoughts drifted back to that unhappy day all those months ago in Chatham’s library, when her reckless behavior forced a proud, aloof man to coldly offer her a marriage of convenience.

“Yes,” Katie murmured. “Life is wonderful—wonderfully surprising.”

***

Gerrit watched his mother’s diminutive form become smaller and smaller as his coach pulled away from Spenwood. When she disappeared entirely, he realized that his throat was tight with emotion and was stunned by the ferocity of his feelings.

“I will miss her,” Kathryn said, echoing his thoughts. “I will miss both of them, but I will dearly miss your mother.”

Gerrit met her green, cat-eyed gaze and the swell of emotion inside him grew more powerful, more insistent.

I love you.

The thought should not have surprised him as much as it did. Deep down, for months, he had known that love was the name for the singular emotion he had been feeling. Love. Who would have believed he was capable of feeling such a powerful, moving emotion?

“What is it, Gerrit? You are looking at me in the oddest way.”

He opened his mouth, but Kathryn suddenly leaned forward and took his hand. “You will miss them too, won’t you? You have come to care for them deeply. That is what you want to say? It is alright to admit to such a thing, you know.”

And now the moment has passed…

Gerrit swallowed his regret. “Yes, I will miss them.” He moved onto her bench, his body crowding hers. “Is this uncomfortable?” he asked, angling himself to give her more room and also to see her better.

“I like it very much.” She gestured to the traveling chess set they had brought along with them to while away the time. “But it will be difficult to play chess if we are both on this side.”

“For some reason, I would rather sit beside you than play a game just now.”

“Coward!”

“Guilty as charged.” Gerrit took her slightly thickened waist in his hands and easily lifted her onto his lap.

She immediately snuggled closer. “Mmm. You are so warm.”

He adjusted her green velvet cloak so that it sat evenly on her shoulders. “You are cold?”