Page 30 of The Doctor

I could never be perfect.

I could never be them.

Rising from my vanity chair, I went from one mirror to the other. The full-length, three-panel mirror that stood in the corner by my closet, showed me each and every one of my flaws. The thin, yet thick, hair that couldn’t hold a curl or a color, making the hot pink I’d dyed it just last night look pale and flat as the style went limp. I pushed my hands into it, giving it volume for all of ten seconds before it came tumbling down to look even flatter than before.

I was cursed.

Cursed with a mind that couldn’t focus. A body that couldn’t perform. A life that just… couldn’t.

That scratching prevailed. Tugging at my consciousness until it was my hand scratching, my fingernails digging into my chest. It was only the bite of pain that brought me out of it, that made me realize the streak of red that was now slashed across my chest.

Perfect.

Just perfect.

This was why I didn't dress until last. I’d have to wear something different than what I’d planned to go to the club tonight. Rather than the black dress with the plunging neckline, I’d have to wear something that wouldn’t show the jagged cut my nail had left across my chest.

A knock sounded at my door, and I jumped. Luckily, only a trace of blood touched Zee’s shirt. With one last glance at my reflection, I rushed to the door, sure it was only our housekeeper, coming to take any used dishes away.

The angry creature in my head scratched harder, distracting me as my hand fell hard on the handle and I yanked open the door. I’d barely gotten the smile to cross my lips before it was falling straight off again, as I was yanked out the doorway and slammed face first into the wall.

“Fuck, kitten.” Hot breath swept over my neck as hands groped and squeezed and tugged. I tried to push off the wall, tried to wriggle free, only for a hand to slip between me and that safety, plunging straight into my lace panties before they were shoved right up inside of me.

I squealed and bucked, and the man behind me laughed and pressed, hurting me as he pushed and fucked and…

And I couldn’t.

Couldn’t get away.

Couldn’t stop him.

Couldn’t stop the pained cry that ripped through my throat and burst out into the empty hallway.

“You wear this for me, kitten? Wanna get fucked by a real man? Wanna get—”

“Jayden!” My brother’s voice snapped, and those hands were torn free, ripping my panties while I was tossed to the ground. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

I peeked up through the well of tears splashing down my face, only to find Stephano, my perfect, blue-eyed, brown-haired brother, glaring down at me. He seethed, a sneer across his lips and murder in his eyes, before he lifted his chin, schooled his face, and turned back to his friend.

“Told you not to touch her.” Stephano dragged his gaze down my body, from the limp pink hair to where my button-up shirt was ripped at my chest, to the panties dangling half off my hip. He sneered again. “You're likely to catch something if you do.”

Jayden scoffed, the man licking his lips like he was tempted to try regardless of my brother’s warning. “Right.” He turned away, but not before making a show of sucking the wetness—my wetness—from his fingertips before tromping his way down the long hall to my brother’s wing.

Stephano rolled his words around in his mouth like they were bitter, pungent things. “The hell do you think you’re doing coming out in the hall dressed like that?”

On a sob, I shook my head. “I was just getting ready. Sadie and I are going out—”

“Not looking like that, you aren’t.”

“I’m not even dressed yet! We’re going to the club!”

He shook his head at me, the sneer turning to a vicious scowl. “You’re not welcome there, brat.” He turned on his heel, then paused, looking back over his shoulder. “And stay the fuck away from my friends.”

Another sob hiccupped through me as he walked away. As he once again took somebody else’s side.

That was my brother.

That was my life.