Page 86 of Playing Hard to Get

And Frankie? I could only imagine the tongue-lashing I was going to receive. Forget about any hope at hiding what was going on between me and Mitch. Having him wrapped around me in my hospital bed wasn't exactly something we could hide. And I knew it meant the end to the tenuous relationship we shared. No more parties at her house. No more family dinners, holiday get-togethers, or shopping trips. My heart ached at the loss, at the pain I knew I caused her by doing what my heart demanded.

Daddy’s hand clamped down on Vinny’s shoulder and my brother looked up at him. “I’d like to speak with my daughter.”

Vinny nodded and released my hand. He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and stepped toward the door. Frankie followed, but waited for Mitch to extricate himself from my covers. She took his hand in hers and walked with him out of the room.

I was left watching after them, wondering if that was how it was going to be. If Mitch would be torn away from me, so Frankie could have the friendship she wanted to keep.

When the door closed behind them, I turned and faced my father. He pulled a chair next to the bed and sat there with his hands steepled at his lips. Dark bags hung under his eyes and his hair was starting to gray at the temples. His brows were pulled together, leaving wrinkles across his forehead. More wrinkles creased the edges of his lips, which were pulled down in a deep frown.

I braced myself for a lecture. On what was expected of me. How I should act. How I should have watched my drink, not given in to the man who could have taken my life.

“Vivian, miele.” Daddy’s voice shook as he dropped his fingers from his mouth and reached forward to take my hand between his. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “Miele, I was so scared.”

My father sobbed in front of me. Huge, gasping breaths shook free from his chest as his cheeks were soaked with tears. I bit my lip as I watched him. Shook my head as I tried to understand what was going on.

“My baby,” Daddy cried. “I'm so glad you're okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've made so many mistakes. I've done so many things trying to protect you and your brother and Frankie. And all it’s done is put you in danger.”

He gasped and a breath shuddered out of him.

“I am so glad Mitch realized you were missing. That Vinny and his friends were able to find you. I could never live with myself if something would have happened to you, miele. I thank God I didn't lose you.”

“I don't understand.” My voice was just a whisper, but somehow, through all his sobbing, Daddy heard me.

“I love you, Vivian,” he told me. “You and your brother are my world, and nothing means more to me than you.”

Shaking my head furiously, I pulled my hand away from him. “No. That’s not true.”

“It is,” he said, his voice catching. “Vivian, miele, I know I haven't always been there for you. I haven't been the father you deserve. But I would give my life for you and your brother.”

“But I’m the reason Mom went away,” I told him. “If it weren't for me, you could have had a happy life.”

“No, no, no.” Daddy took my hand in his again, put his other hand to my cheek. “Your mother… She was sick. She was severely depressed, long before you were born. I tried to get her help. I thought she was getting better. That's why I wanted to have kids. I thought she would love being a mother. And I wanted to see that joy in her heart.”

Daddy shook his head, his eyes closed tight. “Ronnie stopped taking her medicine when she found out she was pregnant. And every day she sank deeper into despair. She stopped eating, stopped taking care of herself. She tried to kill herself, Vivian. She tried to take you and Vinny with her.”

Daddy wiped his eyes on his sleeve and looked at me.

“I couldn’t let her be around you and your brother. I feared she would try again and be successful this time. I sent her away to get help. I told her she couldn’t come around you two unless she was on her medication. She filed for divorce, and then filed to terminate her parental rights. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted only the best for you and Vinny. I hired the best nannies and sent you to the best schools. I tried to give you everything when...” A sob broke free from his chest. “All you really needed was to be loved.”

My father stood and held his arms out to me, his red, wet eyes pleading for understanding. I sat up in bed and reached for him. Cried into his shoulder when he embraced me tightly.

“I’m sorry for not being the father you needed, Vivian. But I promise, if you let me, I will make it up to you. I will do everything in my power to show you how much you are loved, how much you and your brother mean to me.”

I swallowed down all the pain and guilt I carried on my shoulders for over twenty years. Twenty years I spent thinking my mother left because of me. Twenty years of thinking my father never loved me, when really, he just didn’t know how to show it. I felt the weight of the world releasing me from its grasp at the same time my father held me in his.

“I love you so much, Vivian,” he whispered to me.

“I love you, too, Daddy.”

20

Mitch

Standing at the front of the church, I found myself mimicking Vinny. Tugging on the sleeves of my tux while I looked around at the small crowd gathering in the dark wooden pews. I smoothed a hand over my chest, tugged at the collar of my shirt, and settled in to wait.

I took a deep breath. Closed my eyes and found those dark blue eyes staring back at me. This time, though, there was laughter in those eyes. A wide smile split my old friend’s face. It's how I wanted to remember him. All the good times above all the bad. Had to cherish those memories, keep them in my heart. Keep him close.

“You doing alright?” Vinny asked me. I opened my eyes and took him in. Those bright blue eyes were piercing as he chewed the corner of his lip.