Page 59 of Guarding Salvation

He glanced across at her. “Did you believe him?”

“Yes and no. We both know doing this job that monsters and evil are real. It’s why we do what we do, but I think he made some sense. Which is whacked considering he was drunk most of the time. I think we allow things we see and do to affect us more than we should. Oh, I know it’s easy to say that, and keeping the demons at bay is hard, especially for us. Those that live with one foot either side of the fence, never quite knowing if we’re the monster or the hero, but if we don’t fight the monsters then they win.”

Snow turned to him, knocking his shoulder with her own. “Aoife sees the hero in you and for that reason, you have to fight the monster. Be the man she loves, the man your sister and family loves. Bás was pushing you and you let him. I get why you want to confront Doyle, but if you do that, you condemn Aoife to a life knowing she’s the reason you died.”

“But she isn’t responsible for his actions.”

“No, she isn’t. Only he is, but we all insist on carrying guilt for things we didn’t do or couldn’t control. It’s human nature and I’m sure you know that better than anyone.”

He knew exactly what she was saying and for the first time in his life, he understood what she meant. He couldn’t let Aoife carry that guilt that had weighed so heavy for him with Lana. He had to find another way. “You’re pretty astute for a Frenchie.”

Snow arched her brow at him. “And you’re not so dumb for a Jock.”

“Touché. Thanks, Snow.”

“Anytime, Bein.” She stood and held out a hand to him. “Now, I suggest you get back inside and apologise before Bás has you on guard duty for the rest of your natural-born life.”

That didn’t bother him, he’d take his punishment like a man, but she was right, he did owe him an apology and an explanation.

Bás was nursing a cup of coffee in the living room and looked up as he walked in and sat in the opposite chair. “I’m sorry. I was out of line and there’s no excuse for it.”

Bás remained silent for a moment before he sat forward and placed his cup on the glass coffee table. “You love her.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I only just figured it out myself.”

“Listen, I get why you offered but I can’t allow you to sacrifice yourself. It would be too big of a loss both to the team and on a personal level. You know how this works. We aren’t just a team, we’re family, and you’d no more let me do it than I’d let you. I get you want to protect her, but this isn’t the way. We’ll find another way to take him down.”

“He needs to die, Bás.”

“I know and he will. But you don’t get to die with him.”

“I know, Snow read me the riot act in the way only she can.”

“How has she seemed to you?”

Bein frowned. “Who? Snow?”

“Yes.”

“Fine, why?”

“Something’s going on with her and when this is over, I need to find out what it is.”

Bein stayed quiet but knew he’d be watching his friend closer now.

“We good, boss?”

Bás took the hand Bein offered. “We’re good but you pull a stunt like that again we’re going to have a problem.”

“Understood. It won’t happen again.”

“You’re a good man, Bein. Flawed like the rest of us but inside where it counts your heart is good. You just need to remember that.”

Bein felt the tension leave him knowing that his boss, and more importantly his friends, had his back.