Page 5 of Blue Sky

But she couldn’t. She was dead. And here I was gorging myself on this applicant’s food, enjoying this delectable dish, feeling happy.

Hell, I felt guilty eating enchiladas without Catherine.

I pushed back my plate.

“These are delicious.”

“Thank you, Mr. Daly.”

“I go by Beck. Where did you learn to cook?”

“My grandmother taught me. I love to cook. I can make anything you like to eat. All the Mexican specialties, of course—flautas, burritos, tacos. But I can learn anything else you like. Hamburgers, spaghetti, meatloaf. You name it, I’ll make it.”

Her desperation hung thick in the air, and I wasn’t ignorant to the fact that there were still at least a hundred other people in line. I had to give everyone a chance, but I was entranced by the girl sitting in front of me. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I was insanely attracted to her, despite myself.

“So, tell me, Paloma, how would you spend your day with my daughter, Sky? She’s nine months old.”

She grinned. “Oh. I love that age. We would have so much fun. I don’t believe in any screen time and I don’t watch television. We would sing songs, play games, take walks around the base, go to the park. I would read to her every day and go to the library. I’d be available for any playdates with any other babies on base. And I have this Mommy and Me yoga video I used to do with my sister. Ana María loved it.”

I winced. Catherine had bought a bunch of Mommy and Me yoga DVDs. She had dreamed of doing them with Sky. It had completely slipped my mind until Paloma mentioned it.

Yoga. Another sign.

But I wasn’t convinced yet.

“What would you do with the money you would earn as my daughter’s nanny?”

She gulped and took a deep breath. “I’ll be honest with you, sir. My mom is a mess. She had me young, she drinks, and runs around with men. I take care of my two sisters, and we often don’t have enough food to eat. They are good girls, but I worry about their future. I want them to go to college. There aren’t any jobs around here in El Centro. I have a high school degree, but I turned down my college scholarship because I just couldn’t abandon my sisters here with my mom.”

Her voice cracked, and I was worried that she would cry. Paloma had just said that her family was hungry, yet she had given me food.

She spoke rapidly as if she had interpreted my silence as a reason to up the ante. “I would take the money and move to San Diego. Leave this town forever. It would be enough to get a tiny studio apartment. We are used to being crammed into one room. I would get a job and attend college part-time. It would be a struggle, but we would make it work.” She paused and bit her lip. “Please give me a chance, sir. I won’t disappoint you. This opportunity would change my life.”

Bam. And there it was. The sign I had been waiting for hit me over the head like the sound of thunder crashing on my plane. I had struggled with my faith daily since my wife had died, and Paloma’s presence forced me to remind myself that even though I was in deep pain, I was blessed. I had a great career, a beautiful daughter, had been married to a wonderful, loving wife, and had food to eat. Had Catherine sent our baby girl and me this message?

“I hope this isn’t inappropriate, but do you have a boyfriend? I’m not interested in having any drama.”

“No, sir. I don’t have a boyfriend, or any desire to have one. I don’t date at all. My only focus is on taking care of my sisters and getting a job.”

I paused. Her sisters. If her mom was so irresponsible, who would watch them if she took this job?

“This is a live-in nanny position. You would have to spend the night. Who would watch your sisters?”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about my sisters. They would stay with my uncle. I’ve spoken to my sister, Mónica, who is fourteen, and she has agreed to step up and help with our youngest sister, Ana María, who is six, if I am blessed enough to get this job.”

She bit her lip when she mentioned her uncle and I wondered if she was lying about him being able to take care of them. She had also mentioned she had turned down a college scholarship to take care of her sisters. Couldn’t her uncle have watched them then? Maybe he was willing to take care of them for ten weeks, but not forever.

My heart constricted in my chest. I had gotten her hopes up. I couldn’t let her down now. But I had to let her know what she was in for by working for me. And I had to see if she would be good with Sky.

“You would have to be up at night to take care of Sky. I would love to get up with her, but I have to have a good night’s sleep, or I can’t fly. Your room would be on the opposite side of the home. Would you be okay with that?”

She nodded her head vigorously and then lifted her eyes which met mine. As they locked in intensity, I felt, even if only for a moment, like we shared a deep connection. “Yes, sir, that would be wonderful. You won’t hear a peep out of me. And I will do my best to keep her quiet.”

“When I come home from work, I would like some time alone with my daughter. You will be free to go home for a few hours and see your sisters, which could work out because it would be after school. I keep to myself most days, and to be honest with you, I’m not a pleasure to be around. My wife passed away nine months ago.”

A lump grew in my throat, and I stopped talking. Nine months. Had it been almost a year? Why did every second without Catherine seem like an eternity? If living without her for nine months had been so painful, how could I bear to spend the rest of my life without her?

I wasn’t ready to express my grief to this girl. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have no interest in being your friend. Our relationship will be strictly business.”