Page 115 of Beast

Of course I did. “I love you, Annie. Completely.”

She closed her eyes. I wished I could climb inside her head. Crush out her bad memories and replace them with good ones. But I couldn’t do that. The only thing I could do was take care of her for the rest of her life and make sure no one ever harmed her again.

Her eyes opened—those gorgeous hazel eyes I’d seen the first night in the brothel. I knew her answer; she didn’t have to speak a word.

Her eyes darted from me to the ring and I placed it on her finger. “Yes, Pat. Oh, my God. I never thought you’d propose. Not ever. I didn’t even think you wanted a girlfriend. You’re crazy, but I love you. Yes.” She climbed in my lap and pushed me over. Our lips met and she showered me with kisses.

She stopped kissing me and grinned in such a silly way, it shocked me.

We stood up and I scooped Gabriel up. “Gabriel, do you want me to be your daddy?”

“Pat Daddy?”

I held on tight to him. One day, I would have to tell him the truth, that I’d killed his father. That his father had stolen his mom and abused her. I had the stupid thought to compare it to Luke Skywalker, who was still a good man, despite having Darth Vader as an evil father.

“Planning. I can’t wait to start planning. When do you get back from your next deployment? It will take at least a year to organize. Don’t worry; my dad will pay for everything.”

Here we go. Of course, I knew all women wanted to plan their dream wedding. Enough of Annie’s dreams had been taken away; I didn’t want to burst another. But over my dead body would I let her father pay one penny.

“That’s the catch. We are only going for three months this time, but I will have another mission right after that. And we have to get married before I go or you and Gabriel won’t get any benefits. I want to start the adoption before I leave. I need you both taken care of and you’re nothing to the military if there isn’t a marriage license to back it up. The SEAL wives will welcome you, and their husbands who aren’t deployed will be there if you need anything. I leave soon. I want to spend as much time with you as my wife as possible. Let’s go now.”

“Now. Here? Today? Without my family? They’ve been through enough without me and now you want to elope?”

I wanted to tell her exactly what her parents thought of her. But I’d take that secret to my grave. Maybe one day she would learn the truth—but it wouldn’t be from me. No way in hell.

“Yes. Let’s go to Harrah’s. Now. I can’t wait, Annie. I don’t think you understand the SEAL community. We will have a ton of paperwork to fill out, have to get your ID card, all your benefits, and my life insurance. Get on the housing list; since I’d rather you live on base where they can keep you safe. This is the only way it will work. I can’t be deployed and have you back home without a safety net. There’s an eighty percent divorce rate but I won’t let us be a statistic. I’ll never cheat on you, you don’t have to worry about that. But it won’t be easy. Though, compared to what you’ve been through it should be a piece of cake.”

“But my parents—”

I stopped her with a kiss. I didn’t want to hear about her parents. I needed to protect her from them.

She paused, her lip caught in her teeth, then smiled. “Now. Let’s do it.”

This was the only way I could protect her. Seeing her happy face replaced the image in my head of the sad girl in the brothel and brought me peace. I rarely had peace or even desired it. My fucking bumper sticker read “Give War a Chance”.

We finally made our way back down the trailhead, found my truck, and drove off toward the Douglas County Administration Building to get our wedding license. Annie called en route and we were able to get an appointment, and the chapel had an opening in an hour. Getting our license didn’t take long, and we drove to a jewelry store to get wedding bands.

I picked out a small white gold one for her to match her engagement ring and she bought me a titanium band. She seemed to love her engagement ring, even though I couldn’t afford to get her a huge rock. I never lived beyond my means. Annie had to be happy with life as a Navy wife. There would be no luxurious vacations and no beachfront mansions. But she’d never starve and I’d always provide for her; she knew that.

I didn’t feel nervous. I was fucking sure about it. Once I made a decision, I never wavered.

The attendant signaled that we were next. The chapel overlooked the lake.

Annie pulled me aside. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Positive.”

“I never thought I’d get married. I used to think that even if I escaped, no man would ever love me, or my son. That I’d always be Star. I’d always be seen as nothing but a whore. Then I met you and you gave me hope. Not hope that you would love me; I didn’t love myself. Just hope that I would one day get my life back. Even after you saved me, I didn’t think there could ever be a chance for us. You seemed so tough, so strong, and so invincible. And you’re sexy. I mean, you look like an action movie star. You could get any girl, why would you want me?”

“I’ve always wanted you. Even though I fought it. I felt so guilty about hiring you. And I never saw you as Star. That’s why the first night I asked what your real name was.”

She touched my face. “See. You’re the only person who I’m positive doesn’t see me like that. But you constantly said over and over that you didn’t want a relationship until you retired. I figured the kiss on the boat meant you were taking pity on me.”

“Never, I just couldn’t let—”

She silenced me with a finger on my lip. “When you told me at my house that we shouldn’t see each other again, I thought that was it. You crushed me. And I was actually trying to make peace with living in a world without you in it. I focused on getting strong and healthy. Seeing you returning from deployment was bittersweet, because I didn’t think you wanted to even get to know me. I don’t know what switched inside your head, but you’ve made me the happiest woman ever. I’m so happy you chose me in the brothel. Every day in captivity I played the ‘what if’ game. What if I hadn’t gone to Aruba? What if I hadn’t been drunk that night? What if I hadn’t left my room that morning? There are no more ‘what ifs’ in my life. I’m present. I’m here now. And if I could go back in time and choose not to get kidnapped, I wouldn’t change a thing. Honestly. Because that nightmare brought me Gabriel. And to you. To think you were living in San Diego when I was in high school and we never met. We are meant to be together. Forever. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make you happy.”

“I love you and promise to take care of you and Gabriel for the rest of my life.” I didn’t cry, but I did choke up.