Page 14 of Ash Fall

Charlie finally nods. "I'd like that."

The others slowly agree so Torrin turns to me. "Let’s get the others and go."

I nod. "Let's finish it."

We swing back past Luna's house. Gage comes down the front steps first with his rifle slung and his eyes already counting everyone in the trucks. Luna follows him, while Penny presses her face against the front window behind them and looks deeply offended that she's staying home.

Gage boosts Luna up over the tailgate. She settles onto the bench between him and Torrin, and Torrin immediately puts an arm around her. Luna looks over the civilians who decided to stay, notices Thenton restrained on the floor, then wrinkles her nose at him before turning toward Bernie.

"Hi. I'm Luna."

"Bernie."

Her gaze drops to the spatula still clenched in his hand.

"Are we cooking something?"

Bernie looks at it as if he's forgotten he's still holding it. "It's all I had."

Luna smiles. "Then I feel safer already."

The man relaxes a little and gives her a soft amused smile.

She's always done that. Luna sees someone frightened, lonely or uncomfortable and finds a way to make the situation easier without making them feel weak for needing it.

Her eyes pass over me for less than a second before returning to Bernie and it fucking kills me that it makes the few feet between us feel like miles. She's holding one of Torrin's hands while Gage's knee presses against hers. When I left, we were all close, but this is different. I don't know how different yet, and I'm not sure I want the answer.

The trucks pull away and through the openings in the side, I watch the streets where I grew up slide past. Ahead, the warehouse fence comes into view with chain link and barbed wire exactly where Gage said it would be.

Thenton looks up from the floor and catches me watching.

"He’s going to put you down like the mutant freak you are."

I glance down at him and roll my eyes, but the shadows gather around my boots again, and this time I let them stay.

Colonel Ashford can try whatever he wants. It won’t matter because the only thing that matters to me is Luna. I walked away from her once, and I know I don't get to undo the last two years just because I finally came back but I can make sure I never do it again. Whatever is waiting behind those gates for us, it isn't getting through me to reach her.

Chapter 6 - Luna

Gage's hand is wrapped around mine on one side, and Torrin's fingers are laced through mine on the other. I honestly couldn't tell you which one I'm gripping harder. My thumb keeps moving over Torrin's knuckles, tracing the small scar near the base of his first finger that he earned the first summer I knew him while showing off on Atlas's skateboard. Every time my fingers pass over it, I get the same reassurance. He's real. He's here. He's not somewhere a thousand kilometers away while I sit at home imagining every terrible thing that might have happened to him.

A week of that panic and uncertainty has left me exhausted in ways sleep isn't going to fix. I spent days staring at a dead phone, walking past their mugs in the drying rack, and lying awake at night with Gigi's breathing coming from down the hall while the rest of the house stayed too quiet. Now that I have Gage and Torrin within reach, I can't seem to stop touching them. My fingers move from Torrin's hand to his wrist, then back again, checking warm skin and a steady pulse even though I know damn well he's sitting beside me. Gage caught me doing the same thing to him ten minutes ago and simply lifted his arm so I could tuck closer against his side. He didn't tease or ask what I was doing. He just made room for me, which is such a Gage thing to do that my eyes burned and I had to stare through the slats of the truck until I got myself under control.

There hasn't been enough time with either of them since they came home. It's been soldiers, a dead body, plans, trucks and people needing decisions from us. I haven't had a chance to ask what happened to them during those seven days or what they had to do to get back. I can see the exhaustion on both their faces, and I know they can see mine too. There's also a dead man in my basement whose burned-out eyes keep appearing every time I stop moving long enough to think about him.

When the ground shook while Torrin and Mars were outside dealing with the patrol, Gage pulled me into the doorway and wrapped both arms around me until it stopped. For those few seconds, I wasn't thinking about earthquakes or soldiers or anything else. I was pressed against Gage's chest, listening to his heartbeat, and I felt safe.

I want everyone back so badly it hurts. Reid is somewhere behind the warehouse fence, and if Reid is there, Jules almost certainly is too. Gigi may be there as well, although after a full day in military custody I'm starting to wonder if the soldiers will need rescuing from her. She's probably already decided which one belongs as the villain in her next book and which one is killed off in a vicious accident.

Once they're all home, maybe we'll finally have five minutes to talk about what the hell happened this week. Someone can explain Mars's shadows, Gage moving earth, Torrin controlling people with his voice, and the silver light that keeps coming off of my skin whenever I'm scared or pissed off. Until then, none of it matters as much as getting the rest of my family back.

Movement across the truck bed catches my attention, and I make the mistake of looking at Mars. He's not looking at my face though, he's staring at my hands, one held by Gage and the other by Torrin. The muscle in his jaw moves, and I know exactly what he's thinking.

Anger comes first because he doesn't get to be jealous. He doesn't get to disappear for two years, miss everything that happened after my family died, and then come back expecting me to be exactly where he left me. The anger doesn't stop the ache underneath it, though, and that pisses me off even more. I thought I'd gotten past the part where one look from Mars could make me want.

His gaze finally lifts to mine. Whatever he sees on my face makes him look down at the floor of the truck in what looks like despair.

For one stupid second, I want to apologize.