Page 66 of Until Ace

But now, even that has died.

With her parting shot, she pivots on her heel and marches out.

“Nicole,” I call after my sister.

Stopping abruptly, Nicole looks at me over her shoulder.

“Don’t do it,” I warn. “Don’t let her drag you down and pin you under her thumb. Leave.”

She only nods, and then she walks out too.

Immediately, I’m in Ace’s arms, his breath stirring the hair on the top of my head, his heat warming my shaking body.

“I’m okay,” I sniffle. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop the tears when they come, wetting Ace’s shirt. “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not,” he argues and hugs me tighter. “But you will be.”

We stay like this, him hugging me, my arms around him, me breathing deeply to get myself under control.

After one final, deep breath, I look up at Ace and give him a smile I know doesn't reach my eyes. In response, he touches my lips with his. Then he repeats, “You will be all right, baby.”

“I told you my family doesn’t like me,” I push out before the shame comes through and burns my cheeks.

I can’t believe they just walked inside and she yelled at me in front of my friends. How will I ever look them in the eyes now?

I’m too afraid to look up and see disgust written all over their faces. They thought I was good, smart. They thought I belong with someone like Ace. Well, now they know the truth.

I’m no one. I don’t have any value except what I can gain materialistically from men and women who like what they see. Usually, it’s my family who demands it.

All I have is this damned face of mine that everyone thinks is beautiful. The only good thing it ever did was help to earn money. That is the only fucking thing. All the rest it keeps giving me is pain. Because of it, my mother called me names and beat me. All my life, she’s danced between calling me beautiful when she needed something, and a whore when she was displeased with me. My sister hates me for it. And my brother thinks it’s okay to pimp me out to pay back his gambling debts. That’s all this face has ever given me. All of them, my immediate family, think I’ve earned every cent on my back or by fleecing money from various men. What they refuse to acknowledge is I’ve worked since I was fifteen. There’s never been a day I’ve been without a job. I’m just lucky I was good enough to work as a model. Nothing major, but still, it’s paid well. And when money was coming in, I was the golden child. When it slowed down, I was trash.

And I hated it. I had to listen to false compliments and harsh critiques. In their world, you can never be sure if a person is telling the truth. One thing you can be sure about is that you’re never good enough.

Never thin enough. Never beautiful enough. Never smart enough.

I was smart enough to walk away from that job and beg Ken for a position. And sure, I model for the dealership, but it’s nothing like it was before.

And Ken is never mean to me.

I know it sounds vain, and if I ever voiced this out loud, people would give me an even wider berth than they do now, but I’m not blind. I’m far from hard to look at, and the male attention that’s thrown my way daily is just another confirmation.

But I want to be left alone. I want the pain to go away.

That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

That, and to feel what it’s like when someone loves you. I’ve gotten a glimpse of it, at least for a short time.

I only hope I’ve given Ace the same feeling in return.

Not only because he deserves it most out of everyone, but I don’t ever want him to forget me. I know I will never forget him.

“Don’t even think it.” His soft words penetrate the fog that surrounds me.

“I’m not,” I lie.

“Baby, you’re lying.”

“I’m not,” I repeat and wipe away the hot tears that won’t stop coming.