Page 56 of Until Ace

No, I have to deal with everything, on my own, once and for all.

No matter how scary it was, I successfully cut my mother out from my life. There hasn’t been even a peep from her in the last three weeks. Jim is still in the wind, so there was no help from him either.

I am all on my own. Well, not technically. I have Beverly, Mia, and by extension Talon. Even though I haven’t said boo to him yet, I know he’s where Mia is. And Mia is firmly holding my hand. Figuratively and literally still.

And Ace. I have Ace.

So I hold my tongue on the scary stuff.

For all my overthinking, it appears I totally missed that Ace has been waiting for me to make the next move.

I can have what I want just by telling him. Or better yet, showing him.

I take a big breath, and on an exhale, I ask, “Okay, how do I tell him I’m not made of glass?”

I can’t just go home and take off my clothes, right?

“You could just tell him you’re ready for more.” Mia shrugs.

“No.” I laugh, trying to imagine me asking Ace to give me an orgasm and to get one for himself in the process. The mere thought is preposterous. “I can’t.”

I didn’t use to be insecure, but once someone drills in your head that you’re worthless, you can’t help but believe them. Then the other pieces of you slowly start melting away. One thing that makes a person great is their self-confidence. For me, that was the first thing to go away. That is why I'm a master at disguises. My favorite mask, and most effective one, is that of the ice queen, as Mia likes to call it.

“Okay, here’s what you’re gonna do.” She rubs her hands together gleefully and starts tossing ideas at me left and right.

Every one is more outrageous than last.

But through the brainstorming, I have a moment that stops everything in me. It’s the realization that I put my guard down just a little for the first time in a very long time, and I’m able to have fun with Mia without anything bad happening.

Sure, there are still bad guys trying to get me to pay my brother’s debt by using my body.

It was made clear that it’s just a matter of time before they collect.

But right now, they’re not here, and as I listen to Mia throw out her suggestions on how to seduce Ace and get him to finally have sex with me, I shove any thought of the troubles that trail me right out of my mind.

It’s the first time I’ve had a moment of true friendship, and I will do anything in my power to make it last as long as I can.

Chapter 12

Mandy

It lasted two hours, during which I laughed so much my abs hurt.

By the end of that time, we formed a plan—aptly called “Operation: Sex until Mandy can’t walk for a week.”

I also learned the story of how Mia and Talon got together. It’s a crazy story, but it’s a beautiful one. I’m now more settled and don’t think I’m as crazy for falling for Ace at the speed I did.

After Mia tossed all her ideas in my face and I rejected all except one of them, we got back to the little fact that I blurted out that started the conversation in the first place.

Mia called it “the boom.” I said she was nuts, but I couldn’t—and honestly don’t want to—deny that it’s exactly what I felt.

My life is crazy enough that the one for me strolled into my neighbor’s kitchen while I was on the phone, and every cell in my body recognized him and detonated. It just makes sense.

Detonation. That’s how it felt then and still does.

Every time I lay eyes on Ace, I still feel the buzz.

I was full of confidence once I left the restaurant, but by the time Ace got home and gave me a dizzying kiss, I was too nervous and lost my nerve.