Page 55 of Until Ace

Mia’s face stretches into a huge smile as my eyes widen when I realize what I just said..

“No, you know what?” I shake my head to chase the false statement away. “I know I love him.”

“That’s great!” she exclaims before taking my expression in. Her smile is nowhere in sight for a second. “Why do you look like you're going to freak out in the next five seconds?”

“Because I am going to freak out in the next five seconds.”

“Why?” She tilts her head, her eyes never leaving mine. “As far as I can see, Ace is a great guy. I don’t know him that well, but Cobi speaks only good things. And Talon likes him too.”

At the mere mention of her man’s name, Mia’s face turns dreamy.

Yeah, it was definitely worth taking on Steph’s wrath once I blocked her that first time Talon came in.

“He is great,” I whisper, the freak-out starting to swirl in my belly.

“Then what’s the problem?” She seems genuinely confused.

I get that. I would be too.

Dammit, I am too.

“We haven’t…” I trail off.

“You haven’t…?” Mia pushes for me to continue.

I swallow the saliva that started pooling in my mouth the moment I said the words, and whisper, “We haven’t had sex. We just kiss. And it’s weird. I’ve been living with him for three weeks now. We sleep in the same bed. We eat breakfast together, dinner. If he’s not at work, we have lunch. Anytime he can tear himself away from work, even for an hour, he’s here with me. Which, as you know, is often. We kiss, and once or twice, we fooled around, but that’s it. Nothing more. I keep waiting for him to start something, and he never does.”

She smiles a small, knowing smile.

“What?” I whisper, scared of the answer.

“Has it ever occurred to you that he’s waiting for you to make the first move?”

I feel my head jerk back once her words register. Ace is waiting for me to make the first move?

No.

That can’t be it.

“That doesn’t sound like Ace.” I shake my head.

“Honey,” Mia whispers, her face sobering.

“What?” I’m back to whispering.

“You’ve been through a lot,” she states. I couldn’t hide the break-in from her for long. In fact, just three days after, she once again cornered me in the break room and, same as today, demanded I tell her what was going on.

It feels like a pattern.

Something happens, and Mia figures out something is going on just by looking at my face. How she suddenly acquired that ability is still a mystery to me. Until a month ago, she couldn’t see through the sheet of ice I put up around me, and now, she just peeks right through it to the very center of me. Then, she waits until I’m distracted, concentrating on pouring hot coffee, and corners me, demanding I tell her everything. If that doesn’t work, she gives me no choice but to go to lunch with her, where she, again, demands the truth.

Either way, I end up spilling at least some of it.

I have a fleeting thought, and it’s on the tip of my tongue to blurt out my entire sordid history, but I can’t put that burden on her shoulders.

I know if she even hears that first sentence, her phone will be in her hand, and she will call whoever needs to be called to put me in protective custody. That’s how good of a person Mia is. And she would be backed up by Talon. And Ace.

For the first time, there is too much to lose in my life to just throw it all away.