Page 48 of Until Ace

“There’s no need to try to hide anything from Ace, Mom. He knows,” I say evenly, squeezing his hand in mine. I half expect him to pull it from my grasp, but he squeezes right back, lending me his strength.

“You had no right to tell him a thing,” she hisses, her eyes boring into mine and trying to get me to submit to her will.

“Oh, you mean, I had no right telling him how my own brother is offering me as collateral to some really shady people so he can cover his gambling debt?” I lean back and put my free hand on my chest in mock surprise. When all she does is press her thin lips together, I drop my hand and straighten my back. “You’re wrong, Mom. I had every right. Because that’s what is happening, and as usual, you’re turning a blind eye to Jim’s shitstorm, leaving me in the wind.”

“That is a lie,” she snaps, her short, blonde bob swaying as her head twitches.

“No, it’s not,” come the whispered words from behind my mom. Looking up, more surprise courses through me. It’s Nicole, my sister. I didn’t even see her standing behind the woman whose only joy in life is to make mine miserable.

But it’s not that Nicole is with her that surprises me. She’s always trailing her. Always the doting daughter. She’s on to her second husband, not having worked a day in her life, and she’s twenty-five. But I’m the one who’s the problematic child. Because I want to live my life the way I want and not be at the beck and call of all my family members. I’m the one who gives out headaches, since I decided to move out and get a job, one where I could even get a promotion, dammit.

It’s always my mistakes that are hashed out. From the first one, when I couldn’t catch a ball in first grade, and it hit me in the face. That was, and is to this very day, my dad’s “favorite memory,” how clumsy I was. We can’t forget the biggest one: moving out, going to school, and then—gasp—I fell in love and made a stupid mistake. How could I possibly do that to my mother? How could I embarrass her so? No matter what I did, I was always the problematic one. While my siblings took advantage of our parents' focus on me and did whatever shit they could.

So, no, the fact that Nicole is standing behind Mom is not a surprise in the slightest. It’s that for the first time, she contradicted our mother.

I tense—in preparation for what, I’m not sure. But whatever I was expecting doesn’t come. Mom simply looks at Nicole, barely turning her head.

We stand in complete silence for several moments, until I can’t take it anymore.

“Why are you here, Mom?” I ask.

“Well, since you decided to broadcast our family troubles to the world,” she mutters before raising her chin, “I need you to stop acting like a spoiled brat and help your brother. Do what he’s asking you to do, so we can all get back to our normal lives.”

“What?” I whisper through stiff lips at the same time Ace barks, “Get out!”

Nicole wisely takes a tentative step backward. I can’t see his face, but I can assume a look of pure rage is on Ace’s face. I’ve seen a glimpse of his troubled look, a glimpse of his annoyed look, and even a glimpse of his angry look. All of them could be perceived as scary, if you don’t know him. But the tone he used to say those two words could only accompany a look so terrifying you couldn’t help but cower in fear.

My mom simply raises her eyebrows and looks him up and down before she focuses back on me. “Well, Mandy, are you going to let him treat me that way?”

I don’t say anything. I’m still stuck on the last thing she said to me.

Is she really that evil and cruel?

Did she really demand I go to those people Jim owes money to, whoever they are, and give them my body freely in exchange for a pardon of Jim’s debt?

Does she not see me as a human fucking being? Only as a means to an end?

“Mandy,” she snaps finally, after I don’t speak for a minute. “Now is not the time to play dumb. Your brother is in danger!”

“Listen,” Ace starts, but I grab his forearm to stop him.

“Mom, did you not hear me when I told you what Jim’s trouble is and what he wants me to do?” I don’t even know why I ask for her to clarify. I know the answer.

“I did.”

“Then how can you ask such a thing from me? I am your daughter, for God’s sake!” I end on a yell.

“Do not raise your voice at me,” she says quietly, her usual tone before she brings me low, but I won’t let her this time.

“I’ll do what I damn well want, because no one in their right mind would ask what you just did of anyone, let alone their own child.”

“Of course they would, because it’s family who needs you.” She smirks, because she knows my resolve crumbles at the mention of family. “And we all know that family is what’s important, taking care of each other. Now is the time you take care of your brother, since your father and I can’t help.”

“Oh, you mean I should give back for all the care I got from you?” I’m so riled up my insides are shaking, but I won’t stop. I can’t stop. “You mean like that time you bought me boots, and when I put them on before I went to school, your reaction was to tell me I looked like a whore? Was that taking care of me? Which, by the way, was only the first time you used that term toward me.”

“That’s a lie,” she hisses once more.

And once again, from behind her, a soft, “It’s true,” is heard.