Page 19 of Never Too Late

“Doing what again?” I tilted my head.

“You’re leaving Hopeful, not caring who you’re leaving behind.”

I didn’t get it. Wasn’t this what he wanted me to do? He actually demanded me to leave.

“What?”

“Just like you did all those years ago,” he finished, ignoring my what.

“You broke up with me, you demanded me to leave like you’re doing now,” I said out loud, not caring that there were people standing and listening to us.

“Yeah, and you couldn’t wait for me to do it, you were gone two days later.” His hands were at his waist, he was leaning toward me, and his voice was gaining volume also.

“Because you demanded me to do it.” I assumed the same posture. Mine wasn’t as effective as his since I was shorter than him and I had my bags, which were messing with my style. Still, I ignored all of it and carried on. “And my grandmother had enough of me being closed in my room and crying. And then Mrs. McConnell came and said it was for the best. I should just go and give you some time to get your head out of your ass, so I did.” All this brought back the old pain that never really went away. I had no choice but to rub my chest, hoping it would help. “But, you never did.”

It was his turn now to ask softly, “What?”

“I came back twice a month for a year, but you were never here. And I couldn’t find you,” I whispered. His image danced in my eyes, but I powered through. “In the end, it became clear I never would. So, yeah, I went away, giving up my home just so I could live a resemblance of a normal life.”

“It didn’t look like you had to try very hard.” His words were dripping with acid.

When he saw the shocked look on my face, he gave me a menacing smile. “Yeah, Soph, I went for you. I hauled my ass to Boston to get you back. And what did I find?” he asked, but didn’t wait for me to give him the answer. “My Soph, was living the life. Laughing and smiling with all those stick-up-their-asses people. Surrounded by guys. That was the moment that I knew I chose right. That you didn’t belong here.”

“You came to Boston?” I could barely hear myself my voice was so small.

“Yeah, Sophie, I did.” He nodded. “And I’ll repeat, you were living the big life in that college and didn’t need me or Hopeful. I only wish you didn’t demand your grandmother to haul her ass to you whenever she wanted to see you.”

“Has it occurred to you that it was too hard for me to come back?”

“I don’t see why since you got over me or this place so easily so fast.”

“And has it occurred to you that it was all fake?”

His eyes were hard and he took a step away from me. “I know that every moment we spent together was fake, you don’t have to rub it in my face in it now. I got to see it with my own two eyes.”

“Then you’re blind even though you can see,” I shot back, not giving him a chance to turn his back now and not let me explain. But I needed to know something first. “Tell me, why did you break up with me in the first place? Even now, I still don’t get it. We were able to continue with us even through college, but the moment I started preparing for med-school you started pulling away, and then just a week before I was set to go, you cut me loose. Why?”

“Because I didn’t want you to end up like my mother,” he roared in my face.

This time I took a step back. Not because I was done with this conversation.

No, we were nowhere near being done.

It was because I couldn’t believe how stupid he was.

“Look at how she ended up, taking her own life after my pop got killed, couldn’t stomach the idea of living in this town and not living to her full potential.”

“You cannot be this stupid,” I said, still not believing what he was saying.

“You know I’m right. She could have had a big life, just like you. She could have made something of herself and not be stuck here. And after he was gone, she saw that and instead of going away, she decided to end her life,” he continued with his false belief.

“You really believe that, don’t you?” I asked softly. “You really think she regretted her choices in her life and that’s why she chose to do it?”

“What other explanation could there be?” His chest was moving up and down harshly, his face appeared to be made of granite and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down like he was fighting against throwing up.

It was the same look he wore when he crushed me.

“It hasn’t occurred to you that even after three years living without your father, the grief still had her in its clutches and wouldn’t let go even for a little bit? It hasn’t occurred to you that she loved your father so much she couldn’t bear the thought of living another day without him? That she missed him so much, that she loved him so much she wanted to find a way to be with him? And that all the counseling she was in and all the meds she was taking wasn’t helping one bit?”