Page 18 of Jason

I opened my fucking mouth.

“Are you leaving Denver?” I wasn't even sure if he heard, my voice was so soft.

“What the fuck?” Jason whispered, looking away from the road to glance at me. “Of course not. Why would you even ask that?”

“Curt,” I said in answer, which it wasn't, but still.

“Don't listen to him. He's just a snake looking for his next big payout,” Jason dismissed everything that happened and shut down the car, exited it, and said, “let's go inside.”

I was so wrapped up in my head I didn’t even realize we were at his place. Okay, maybe I got it wrong. Maybe what Curt said to me was a lie and he was just trying to get me to leave Jason. Why? I had no idea. But still, there was one other issue that was swimming around my mind, torturing me. Mindy.

“And what about your girlfriend?” I asked his back as he let us in his home.

“What?” he whispered, looking back at me, the muscles in his back flexing. In fact, his whole body was turning to stone right before my eyes.

I didn't take it as a good sign, and if I was smart, I would just say nothing and get out. Unfortunately, I wasn't all that bright, as it turned out.

“I hear you have a girl who's going to wear your wedding ring in the future, waiting for you to have some fun or whatever, and then you’ll go back to her to ride happily into the sunset.” Walking past him, I ducked my head and swiped at the traitorous tears that had started to leak again.

“You're fucking with me,” he closed the door and followed me with his eyes. “Tell me you're fucking with me.”

I said nothing, and when I started to gather my stuff from all over the place, he came to me.

Pulling at my elbow, he turned me to him, “Rory, tell me this is some kind of joke.”

Again, I said nothing and just looked past him.

“How in the actual fuck do you think that's even possible? Who told you that?”

When I kept my silence, he shook me, my head snapping back, and at the sound of pain coming out of my mouth, he released his grip and took a step back. I could see he was shaking with rage. Barely holding it together.

“It was those bitches, wasn’t it? The shit-for-brains plastic Barbies,” swallowing, he took a step toward me, but I stepped back. His eyes zeroed in on my feet and he tried again, only for me to take another step back. His eyes came to mine and I could see fear mixed with anger dancing in them. “I can't believe you would ever believe them. I would never do something like that. I thought you knew me better. I just fired my manager because he was a dick to you, for Christ's sake!” he yelled. When I stepped back again, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes when releasing it, visibly calming himself down. “Don't be afraid of me. I won't hurt you. In fact, I won't even touch you. But listen to me, Rory. I'm not that kind of man. I would never cheat on you. I would never take advantage of you.”

“What about your career?” I whispered. There was a big possibility that he was leaving Denver. Maybe not this season or the next, but that was something that could happen in any given moment.

“Fuck my career!” he roared, leaning toward me, his hands balled into tight fists. “I don't care anymore. The only thing I care about is you. I even told you, I love you. Do you know how many women I've ever told that? Do you, Rory?”

I just shook my head, too scared and too shocked to do anything else.

“None. Not fucking one. You're the only one who got those words from me. Fuck me, but you're the only one who evokes that feeling in me. For you to think I would be a piece of shit who would cheat on someone, let alone on you, then when I get my rocks off go back to some skank that's happy to wait until I dicked around on her? And she is a skank, Rory. I told you I met her before I met you, so I know the game she plays. I'm a professional football player. There are always women trailing behind, trying to get us to notice them. It's the same in any sport. But I never had anything to do with her. It was offered; I won't lie. I just didn't want the one who was offering it.” The look of sheer repulsion stretched his mouth. “I wasn’t a virgin when you met me; you know that. You also knew I didn't get my balls in the traps those women call hands. I never had a thing with one of them or the ones in their circle.” He looked to the side, shaking his head. He closed his eyes and, obviously coming to some kind of decision, he looked back at me, “and yeah, fuck yeah, you're the reason I said no to those contract offers. But you're only one of the reasons. All my life, all I ever wanted was to play for the Denver Thunders. I worked my ass off for that. And now that I’ve finally got it, I'm not going to throw it away for more money. I have more integrity than that. And if, and that's a big if, they decided to release me from my contract, I still wouldn't go.” He was breathing hard. I could tell he wanted to come to me, but he stayed rooted to the spot.

“Why?” I whispered, new tears coming down my face. I had a good idea, but I still wanted to hear it coming out of his mouth.

“Because you're here.” The veins in his neck pulsed. “You've become more important than anything. Even football, even my future.” I took a tiny step toward him. I wanted to hold him so much it physically hurt. He stopped me with his hand raised, “don't come near me, Rory. I'm so fucking angry and I know if you come near me, I’ll just fuck you and try to forget this ever happened. But, I can’t. I can't understand how you could believe them. If you don’t believe in me…in us,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I just... can't.”

He sighed again, looked down, pushed his hand in his hair, and I watched as his shoulders slumped down. After a moment, not even sparing me a glance, he turned and went into his bedroom, softly closing the door. But that soft click pulsed in me from head to toe. I stood there not moving, and I cried. How was it possible that we went from that sweet place he had us in only a few hours ago, to this cold existence? How couldn't he understand that I just wasn't able to dismiss all that was said to me today? Coupled with the regretful looks and warnings from Logan, it all fit. It all made perfect sense. And all those fights between him and Curt were clear now. All his bad behavior. His mood swings whenever Curt was near, his impatience when Mindy would show up at his door. Still, even when she said she was looking for Logan. And when we told her that Logan wasn’t there, she asked for any player that came to her mind. Only recently had she started to hunt down Jason.

And he was always with me, spending almost every second of the day near me. I haven't once seen him sneak around with his phone or take off without explanation. With all that running through my head, I knew I still shouldn't have done what I did.

I loved him.

And I wanted him.

And I needed him.

He was my everything.

Sure, maybe I had trust issues. Maybe I needed to start listening to my heart. I should have listened to him and came back tomorrow. I should’ve just gone home. Maybe I’d be spared the pain later on. Maybe, but who knows? Still, I wiped my face and went to him.