Page 20 of Good Intentions, Vol. 3

“This was a mistake,” I repeat and put on my soaking wet coat.

Before he has a chance to get out of bed and put on some clothes, I storm out of the bedroom and leave.

“Wait,” a hand on my elbow halts my escape and turns me.

“Please, let me go,” I beg.

I have to get out of here.

I don’t even know what I’m doing here.

I don’t know anything anymore.

“Pretty girl,” Nick tries to pull me into his arms.

“Don’t touch me,”

If he does I would never leave him.I wouldn’t have the energy to break my heart in half again.

“What’s going on?” whatever leftover sleep was clinging to him is now long gone.

His eyes are alert and acute on me, he mimics every move I make, caging me in, not letting me go.I realize I will never be free of him, he will never let me go.

“I need to get out of here,” I say desperately looking this way and that for a way out.

“Why?” the one-word question hides so much meaning it bursts inside me.

“Because this was a mistake,” I repeat my mantra and the words richochet around us bouncing off walls and hitting our hearts.

Nick steps away from me and I realize it’s not just physical distance he’s putting between us.

“A mistake?”

“Yes.” I gulp.

Nick glances at the door then pins me with his eyes.

“If you walk out, I will not chase you. I won’t call you or email you. I won’t send you flowers begging for a little bit of your attention. We’ll just have a strict business relationship, Heather.”

I bristle at the threat. “See, this right here, this proves it.”

“Proves what?”

“That you lied to me.”

“I never lied to you, Heather.”

“You lied when you told me you loved me,” a tear starts rolling down my cheek, my voice hoarse. “You lied when you said there’s no tomorrow, that there’s only us.”

Nick tracks the tears that are now falling in a stream down my face. For a moment he looks like he’s going to come at me, take me in his arms and make the hurt go away. But, only for a moment.He shakes his head and takes another step away.

“I never lied Heather. You knew that was only a relief of the guilt we felt. And I did love you,” he turns sideways. “I still do.”

I know he’s right. I was there right beside him. Hell, I’m the one who first said that mantra of there no being tomorrow. I know I’m behaving like an immature little brat, but I can’t help myself.I’m so confused.

“I have to go,” I tell myself more than I do to him.

He doesn’t move a muscle besides to speak.

“If you do, you’re the one who will have to come to me, pretty girl. I won’t make you beg, but I won’t run after you anymore, either.”

Feeling torn, I make a choice and the choice I make, I know in my bones is the wrong one.Still, I walk towards the door, open it, and lose everything in the night.