Page 91 of SnowBound

“Oh yes. Sorry. How long between them?”

I blew out through my mouth in quick gasps. “No idea. But it’s way less than ten minutes.” Tension squeezed my abdomen in a tight grip. “Ellie. Do something or I’ll give birth on my bed.”

“Breathe, Abby. I’ll send a cab and inform the hospital you’re on your way. Do you have your bag?”

I spotted it in the corner of my bedroom. “Yeah.”

“Everything is in there. We followed the list the doctor gave you, so don’t worry about it.”

More sobs shook me.

“Hey, talk to me,” my friend asked. “Are you in pain?”

“Yes. It hurts so bad, but—”

“What is it?”

“I’m scared, Elles. I’m so afraid of what’s coming. I’m not ready.” I wiped my tears with my sleeves, the river down my face intensifying. “I want it to stop. I don’t wanna deliver a baby. I’m not even twenty yet. I’m way too young to be a mother. I’m not wired to care for another human being. What if I screw up? Sorry, but I can’t do this. Why are girls the ones dealing with pregnancy? Andy is free to live his life without stressing about any of this. He’s not about to have his body ripped in two.” My voice rose, and my words were clipped when I added, “I. DIDN’T. MAKE. THIS. BABY. ON. MY. OWN.”

My best friend’s soft and reassuring voice calmed me down. “I’m aware. Life is unfair sometimes, but you’re the bravest person I know. If someone can deliver a baby on her own, it’s you. It’s scary. And it will hurt. And I wish I could hold your hand through this. Or even take away your pain. But you can do this. You will do this. You hear me out, Abigail Peña, you’re going to give birth to that baby. Life doesn’t care if you are nineteen or thirty-three. You’re gonna fucking do it. Like the warrior you are. And once you cradle the baby in your arms, you’ll be so proud and happy you went through with it. You didn’t endure months of shit and hard work to give up at the end of the race. So, plaster your game face on, grab the bag, and climb into the cab that will be at your place in”—she paused, probably to check on her app—“two minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Did I make myself clear?”

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me.

“Did I make myself clear?” she repeated.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Gurrrl, you can do better than this. Did I make myself clear?”

“Yes, you did.”

“Good. Now don’t hang up because I’ll stay with you for as long as you need me. I put a phone charger in your bag, so you won’t run out of battery.”

“Thanks.” I shouldered my bag and was about to exit my bedroom when my abdomen tensed with a new contraction. I balanced against the doorjamb until it passed. “Okay, let’s do this.”

“That’s the spirit,” Ellie’s voice said on the other end of the line.

The drive to the hospital didn’t quite register with me. Everything that went down since I called Ellie was a bit blurry. Like I was going through the motions without being conscious of it. She kept talking into my ear, reassuring me, whispering her encouragement, but I heard almost nothing she said.

A nurse waited for me with a wheelchair when I climbed out of the cab. She took my bag from the cab driver’s hands, and I didn’t take three steps in her direction when a popping sound surprised me, and hot liquid ran down the inner sides of my legs, pooling on the pavement. I froze. Did I pee myself? My heart constricted in my chest. Oh no. If I did, this was beyond mortifying. More liquid streamed down my thighs, and I tried to stop the flow. But the more I did, the more came out. “Oh no, what’s happening? I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pee on the sidewalk,” I said, my voice laced with shame.

“What’s wrong?” Ellie said in my ear. “Talk to me. Are you safe?”

The nurse must have caught onto my mortification because she neared me and put a comforting palm between my shoulder blades. “Honey, it’s all fine. Your water just broke.”

“Oh.”

“It’s normal. Nothing unusual. Let’s get you inside and changed so the doctor can examine you, okay?”

I nodded.

“Abby, say something,” Ellie asked, her voice filled with worry, and I snapped out of the daze I had fallen into.

I swallowed as my belly grew rigid and stole my breath away for a moment.

My voice shuddered when I said, “I’m fine. My water broke. For a second, I thought I had peed myself. Ellie—” Tears I hadn’t shed in the last twenty minutes returned with a vengeance, and now that the dam had burst, I had no idea how to stop the leak. I did nothing to wipe them as they clouded my vision. I sat in the wheelchair and cried in silence. Nobody could understand how scary this episode was.

“Don’t cry,” Ellie’s low voice repeated in my ear. “You’re not alone. I’m right here with you. Let’s get that baby out of you, okay?”