Page 60 of SnowBound

The smell of beef and potatoes made my stomach roll, and I placed a protective palm over my belly as I breathed in to calm the swell of nausea hitting me. My father’s eyes immediately cut across to my figure, disapproval clear in his expression. Under his scrutiny, I felt like a little girl about to be chastised for being late for dinner after spending a day playing outside or for having rested my elbows on the table.

“Why haven’t you changed into a lady’s proper attire?” my mother inquired, raising a scowling face in my direction. “I told you so earlier.”

I took a seat opposite her and tugged at the sleeves of my sweatshirt, trying to be invisible as judgment poured out from both of them when they exchanged a quick disapproving glance and a sigh.

My father cleared his throat. “It’s not lady-like to wear such awful clothes at dinner. What would people think if they saw you dressed like this? Abigail, where are your manners? What has this college of yours been teaching you all year?”

I swallowed the uneasiness clogging my airways. “I’m sorry.” I bit my inner cheek, trying to fish the courage I lacked to confide in them. “There’s something I gotta tell you both,” I began, spreading the cloth napkin over my lap.

“Whatever it is,” my mother said, “it can wait after dinner.”

I nodded and fidgeted with my fingers the entire time. Dinner time in the Peña household was spent in silence. No one shared stories about their day or made small talk anymore. Only the clicking sounds of cutlery on porcelain plates were heard.

After dinner was served and eaten and more jitters filled me, I attempted once more to open the discussion.

“Can we have that talk now?” I asked, not meeting their eyes to avoid the censure I was sure to read there.

My parents both nodded.

“Mother. Father.” Mama and Daddy or even Mom and Dad weren’t terms I was allowed to use anymore. Yep, my parents had put so much distance between us that sometimes they felt like strangers. I inhaled a cleansing breath. I could do this. Unable to find the right words, I stood and pushed my chair aside and lifted the front of my sweater to expose my pregnant figure.

I heard “Ahhs,” and a few god-related curses. Then I met my parents’ gazes. Their complexions were now a ghostly shade of white. And my mother’s fingers trembled around the gold cross on her neck, a permanent fixture as far as I could remember. As if she was preparing herself for a catastrophe.

My father whispered, his hands locked in some sort of prayer sign, acting as if I’d just announced I married the devil himself.

In the slowest motion ever, they returned their attention to me, their stares empty and their lips twisted in disdain. Sitting back down, I wished I could melt into the chair. And be as far away from here as possible.

“You’re pregnant?” My mother’s eyes stayed locked on my abdomen. “With a baby?”

I was tempted to reply What else? then thought better of it and only said, “Yes.”

“Did someone do that to you?”

I blinked at my father. He had to be kidding me. As if there was any other way to make babies. I shrugged instead of mouthing the sarcastic retort tingling the tip of my tongue. He leaned forward and lifted my left hand, studying my ring finger. “Where’s the ring? And why didn’t we get invited to the wedding?”

Wedding.I should have guessed that was what they would obsess with.

I swallowed the discomfort and straightened my back, ready to answer all their questions and refute all their accusations. I wouldn’t let my own parents belittle me or my baby. Nor Andy. I agreed this whole situation was a clusterfuck of epic proportions. But once the shock subsided, I wasn’t so scared anymore. Other than the fact I had no idea how I’d finish my degree and raise a child on my own. But that was a conversation for some other time.

“Let me explain. It was a one-time thing. We used protection. Still, it happened. Nobody is getting married. And I can’t contact the father. But he’s a nice guy, so it’s not his fault.” There. I said it all. Well, the important parts at least.

My mother’s blue eyes, the same shade as mine, rounded. “You did the act before your nuptial? How come?”

See? She couldn’t even say the word sex. “Because I met an amazing guy and it felt right.”

My mother delivered the first punch. “Abigail, you’re a shame to this family. We thought we raised you better than this. We’re so disappointed in you right now. I’ll pray for your soul. It’s lost. I knew college was a bad idea. And you just proved it.”

My father held her hand in a comforting gesture. My parents, no matter how much they didn’t understand me and lived in another era where the television, internet, and electricity were the evils of the world, loved each other. This was clear, even after all these years.

“A baby?” My father’s words cut through me, then his features blended into that politician’s fake countenance he used with everyone he met. “We’ll send you away. Until it’s born. Pretend you’re doing some charitable work overseas. Shantel did that when her daughter got pregnant in high school. The pastor of our church can help set it up. We’ll give it for adoption. No one has to know.”

It took me a fraction of a second to register his words. My fist hit the table, the sound reverberating through the room. I rarely confronted them and their opinions. Except this time, it concerned not only me, but also my baby. Only I decided my baby’s future. No one else. “No. I’m not getting rid of the baby. Never. He or she is a part of me. Of us. Andy and me. And it’s not an it either. This is a human being, not a thing.”

“You don’t even know how to reach this unworthy man. There’s no us, Abigail. How are you gonna provide for this—for him or her? You’re a college student and have no job. And most importantly, you’re not married or to be wed.”

“I’ve been working all semester. I have savings. And I’ll pile on two jobs this summer if I must. I’m resourceful. No matter what, I’ll find a way to make it work.”

“And how do you believe you’ll be able to afford all that this child will need? Dream again. If you’re keeping the baby, you must marry a man. And fast. No child is born outside a marital union. It’s not our God’s wish.” My mother was ruthless. If she knew me just a bit, she’d be aware I’d never agree to this.