Page 50 of SnowBound

I ran a hand over my face. “Huh…I already bought the tests. They are in the bag on the floor under my desk. I’ve been too chickenshit to take them on my own.” My lips trembled, and a wave of sadness began in my core, washing through me.

“Oh, Abby, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

A sob tumbled out. “Ellie, what if I am pregnant? That would be a disaster. Everything I’ve been working for. My independence. All my dreams.” I hiccupped. “My parents would never forgive me. They still think you’ll go to hell if you have sex before marriage. And that a woman’s place is at home with her children, looking pretty on her husband’s arm. It would be a nightmare.”

My friend wrapped one arm around my heaving shoulders and planted a kiss on my temple. “Let’s find out first, then panic later, okay? No matter what, you’ve got options. It’s not too late.”

I nodded, wiping my teary eyes with the sleeve of my dust-blue SSB sweater. “Okay.”

My roommate fetched the drugstore bag I’d discarded three days ago. “Oh-fucking-god, how many tests did you buy?” she asked, waving a box of two in my face and shaking the bag.

“Seven. I heard about false positives. And false negatives. I’m not taking any chances. I bought four different brands.”

She sat back next to me. “Question, though. How could it be? You’re always the smart one. Tom and I aren’t even officially dating, and we skip protection most of the time. I’m allergic to latex, and no way am I asking him to wear those lambskin condoms when he fucks me.” She shivered. “Dis-gus-ting. We’re exclusive. We both got tested before we got together and I’m on the pill and he always pulls out. But still, it sounds more like something that would happen to me.”

I exhaled a long and painful breath. “Elles, that’s a lot of information I didn’t need. You know there are other options for you too, right?” I repeated her own words.

Ellie waved a hand as if to refuse to acknowledge what I just said.

I buried my face in my hands. “We used a condom. Condoms. Plural. I swear we did. My first time hooking up with a stranger and see where it has got me? I never had a one-nighter in my life before that. I slept with two guys in total. This can’t be the end of my sex life. Gosh, I should have been on the pill.”

Tears filled my eyes, prickling at the rawness that had developed there in the last hour.

With my hands still over my face, I hid myself from the world. And hoped the world couldn’t see me either. All I required was a break. And someplace to lick my wounds in peace.

Ellie scooted closer and rubbed my back. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t worry, okay? Whatever it says, it’s gonna be all right. We’ll figure it out.”

I snorted. “All right, yeah. As if being pregnant in college with no way to ever get a hold of the guy whose DNA might be inside of me will ever be fine.”

“You’re Abigail Peña. You’re resourceful. Strong and badass. You’ll manage. I have faith in you.”

I sagged my shoulders. “Well, right now I have none.”

“Let’s find out first before making plans and assuming the worst.”

“Ellie, I’m not sure I wanna know. If it’s positive, nothing will ever be the same. Life as it is now will be over.”

My heart sank in my chest, ripped open.

No matter what my friend said, I would be on my own. And Andy would never know how the best night of my existence became a sour memory. He would never be part of our baby’s life.

I dried my teary face with my sleeve and grabbed the collection of unwrapped tests Ellie handed me.

In two minutes, my life might change forever.

I swallowed the bile rising in my throat, pushed my shoulders back, and left the dorm room, the weight of the world pressing on my delicate shoulders.