Page 26 of Kickoff

“How’s yours? Are you ready to go back out there?”

She swallowed and twisted her hands in front of her. “I think so. There’s a lot at stake this year. I can’t screw it up. My future and my college application depend on my being not only great, but also exceptional. I won’t accept a second place. Being the winner of the losers isn’t good enough anymore. First place is my goal.”

“Love the ambition. I can relate.” I paused. “It’s okay to have great and not-so-great-days too, you know. It’s sports. It’s part of the game. Losing is not always a bad thing.”

She halted, watching me with a scrunched-up face like I’d said something terrible.

“When you lose, it teaches you something valuable...” I shrugged. “Like how to improve your technique…how to perfect your mindset... Then you appreciate each victory much more and you’re humbler about your performances and your wins.”

“When you say it like that, it makes sense.” We resumed our walk. “The thing is… There’s this girl… Emery Mellencamp. She swims for McKinley High. She always climbs to the top of the podium. Always beating me by milliseconds. She’s good, like really good, you know. The truth is that…I wanna beat her so bad. First place and all. Not just for the medley relays, but solo too. I know I have what it takes. I just need to be consistent and push a little more. I gotta see that my efforts and dedication are paying off… That I can be the best. More than once. Sure, I win against her often, but overall, she’s still number one.”

“I respect that. I like being at the top of my game too. I thrive on being the best.” We turned into our street. “Just make sure you do it for the right reasons. Being the best, I mean.”

Melinda blinked, looking confused.

I glanced at her to make sure she understood what I was saying. “Do it for you. Not for anyone else. It has to be your victory.”

“I won’t…I-I’m not. It’s me I’m challenging.”

“All right.” Silence stretched between us. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the product of everyone else’s expectations of me.” I couldn’t believe I was confiding in her about my own insecurities.

“What do you mean?” She stopped to look at me, but I kept my gaze locked on the ground instead.

“Like I’ve become whoever other people wished I’d turn into instead of myself. Not just on the field…but elsewhere too. In my life in general.”

“Can’t you just refuse to partake in whatever they expect from you?”

I shrugged. “It’s not that easy... The game is all mine. Nobody is forcing me to play or to be great at it. It’s the other things… I’m not my true self around a lot of people.” I avoided her eyes, feeling naked as I disclosed the piece of information I usually kept quiet about. “Anyway, forget I said anything. I’m just in a foul mood tonight. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay. I’m okay.” Because you’re here with me and not with that jackass.

“You sure? It’s fine if you’re not. Nobody will hate you because of it.”

I added nothing.

Minutes later, we stopped on the sidewalk in front of Melinda’s house. “Thanks. For walking me home.”

“Anytime.” I turned to leave but spoke before she could let herself in. “And Mel? Keep the hoodie. I have almost outgrown it, and it looks better on you anyway.”

She looked flustered under her porch light. “Huh…you sure?”

“Yep.”

“Okay. Thanks?”

I bobbed my head once and strolled toward my house.

For a while, I stood in the entryway, immobile, not sure how to define my night.

Did Melinda and I finally share a moment?

Because it oddly felt like we did.

I had no better way to describe the time we spent together tonight and the camaraderie we experienced for once. A warm flicker inside my chest confirmed my theory wasn’t too far-fetched.

Moments later, I climbed the staircase and locked myself in my room. Lying on my bed, I tried to make sense of the last hour. Before I could come up with an explanation, my eyes closed, and I lost the battle as sleep claimed me.

8

Call me Nurse Pierce