Page 29 of False Promises

My emotions constricted my throat, making my breathing harsh. Moisture enveloped my eyeballs while reminiscing all the challenges we conquered together.

“Dah, I know I wouldn’t have made it without you. And Jack. You are both my anchors and my reason to keep going and be better.” I fought a yawn. “Anyway, I’ll let you two be. It’s getting late.”

I unfolded my tall self from the couch and stretched my arms over my head. I was finally in a good place with Nick. I wouldn’t call us best friends yet, but I chose to get along with him. He was a decent enough guy—no, he was awesome—and he loved my favorite people with all his heart. As if they were his too. And they loved him back.

The four of us were an unconventional family, but we made it work. “Thanks for dinner. I’ll see you guys later.” My lips met Dahlia’s cheek as she squeezed my forearm, and I held out my hand to shake Nick’s.

“Take care, man,” he said.

Dahlia let go of me. “Behave, Cart. And call me if you need anything.”

I nodded and blended into the dark night, before hauling myself into my truck.

My heart flipped in my chest, unable to decide if it was happy or sad. Aching or excited. Seeing Dahlia with Nick made my heart flinch, twisting with remnants of pain each time. Would I get there one day? Find my person like she had?

Or was I destined to be alone forever?

The idea I wasn’t meant for reciprocated long-lasting love scared me.

A fucking lot.

Like a thousand needles piercing the hard armor I had grown around my bruised heart a long time ago. Back when we were teenagers and Dahlia fell for my brother just when I was about to admit my feelings to her.

* * *

It was three months later I found myself sitting on a white garden chair, with Jack in my arms. A deep inhale and I filled my lungs with the scent of his shampoo to prevent my heart from combusting, the ashes of my heart already taking up too much space in my chest. I struggled with my nerves. And my breathing.

My body quivered.

Chills ran up and down my spine. The not-so-good kind.

The tie around my neck felt too tight.

My skin itched under the fabric of my trousers.

I tried to avert my gaze, but somehow, it stayed glued to the scene playing before me.

Tears stung the back of my eyes. I closed my eyelids, hoping to lock them inside.

Even though I had grown accustomed to the idea of Dahlia moving on and marrying Nick, the sight of them up at the altar under an arch of white roses brought a tsunami of emotions in me.

The last six weeks, since their combined bachelor-bachelorette party, had cemented the truth I knew deep down. That we would never be together, no matter what. This was it. The last thread of the relationship we had built after Jeff passed away would be severed forever. It would never be the same.

And it brought back all the feelings I thought I had dealt with once and for all.

A witness to their love story, all I could think was that I wish it’d been me, standing up there, exchanging those vows, sharing those smiles. Those love promises. And being on the receiving end of the look in Dahlia’s sparkling eyes. The ones I’d spent years yearning they’d be aimed at me someday. Something I had for a moment—so brief I still wondered sometimes if it really happened—and then lost.

My eyes drifted to the woman wiping her tears beside Dahlia. Addison Wilde, her other childhood best friend and her maid of honor. And Tucker, Nick’s best man, standing tall next to him, his gaze focused on Addison, never faltering away, his jaw tense, the look in his eyes betraying his own withheld emotions. Guess I wasn’t the only one suffering in silence. Last night, the five of us had a pre-wedding dinner together, and I could tell he had feelings for her. When Addison turned him down, his face was crushed. And I felt sorry for the guy.

With one arm around his small body, I kept Jack close to my heart because only he had the power to heal the broken fragments in my chest.

“By the power vested in me by the State of Tennessee, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant, a man with thick white hair and dark-framed glasses, said. My heart fell ten stories down my chest and ended up in the tips of my toes, fighting between life and death.

I sucked in some air. It didn’t go through.

My head spun.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.