Page 87 of Game Plan

“What do you mean?”

“My gut tells me someone messed with me on purpose.”

“Who?”

“No clue. It was the longest five minutes of my life. George changed the door and the lock just to make sure it wouldn’t happen again after I told him, but I still have a weird feeling about it.”

“Why would someone do something like that?”

“I bet they thought they were being funny. Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. I just thought for a moment it was happening again. I’m relieved to know it wasn’t.”

“Want me to ditch practice and walk you to your place?”

“Nah. You go. I’ll be all right.” I hesitated for a fraction of a second. “I am all right.”

He lifted an eyebrow, studying my face.

“Mase, I swear. Promise me you’ll take it slow at practice today, okay? Don’t overdo it. Give your shoulder a break. It needs some rest.”

“I’ll try. Thanks for helping me this morning, Shepard.”

“My pleasure. I’ll email you the exercise routine, so you have a copy.”

“Thanks. Are you sure you’re gonna be all right?”

“I swear. Now go or you’ll have to run laps for being late. We’ll catch up later.”

He bobbed his head twice and walked away. I followed his retreat with my eyes, wondering if Mason was really done with drugs or if he was saying he was just to appease me and my worries.

Just from the tension emanating from him and the way he kicked pebbles on the sidewalk, keeping his eyes down, I could tell Mason was in a piss-poor mood when he joined me at the end of my shift at Lola’s to walk me back to my dorm. I studied his profile, trying to find hints that would tell me if he’d been using or not, but I couldn’t find any. His eyes were clear, he wasn’t jumpy or fidgety, and he didn’t have tics. At least none I could see.

It had been a few days since that morning at the pool, and with how busy we’d both been so far this week, we hadn’t had a chance to see each other again.

“Anything you wanna talk about?” I asked, pushing my hands into my jacket pockets, the cold breeze making me shiver all over.

He locked his eyes on mine. “You.”

I pointed my thumb at my chest. “Me? What did I do?”

“Everything and nothing. I’ve been thinking about us all day, and I’m super mad at you right now.”

“If you’re mad at me, why are you even here?”

“Because even though I’m upset, I’d never let you walk home alone at this late hour.”

“Either you admit what’s bugging you now or you walk away and we talk later. My energy’s drained, and I’m not in the mood for games.”

He tugged at my sleeve and led me toward a little patch of grass away from the people filling the sidewalks.

“I’m done playing games, so at least we agree on something.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about. Last time we were together, there was nothing left unsaid between us. Or I thought there wasn’t. What did I miss?

“Mel, I wanna be with you.” He dragged a hand across his face. “I think I’ve made myself clear enough times as it is. I have no idea why you still won’t be with me too. It’s eating me alive. I feel fucking stupid for still holding on to the idea of an us.” He looked into the distance before returning his eyes to mine. “I’ve never given you any reason to doubt me or to think I was being dishonest with you. I get why you’re scared and where you’re coming from, but I’m done with this game of cat and mouse where I’m the only one trying, the only one being vulnerable. I love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you and all it implies, but I won’t let you lead me on forever, Mel. Either you wanna be with me or you don’t, but please make up your mind because I’m tired of being in limbo in this relationship.”

“It’s not… I don’t…”

“Yes, you do. You didn’t lead Clarke on for months. You pretty much replaced me with him in a matter of weeks. And here I am, a year later, still committed to us, but you still won’t be honest about your feelings. I know you know we belong together. I just wish you were brave enough to shut the voices in your head and say screw you to whatever doubts you still have and trust me to catch you when you fall.”