Page 52 of Possibly Texas

“Whatcha, uh, doin’?” I asked.

I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“My art,” he answered.

“Do you need help?” I asked, my toe kicking at the ground again. “We could hang out, or—”

“I don’t need help.”

“Auggie. Man, I—”

“What do you want, Jordan?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m kind of busy with things, so…”

His voice trailed off and he shrugged, his whole body asking a question. All I could do for several moments was stare. I’d never had to navigate this kind of thing before. I’d never had to be a real friend.

“I was embarrassed,” I said.

When all else fails, tell the truth. Even if it’s embarrassing.

Auggie just stood there.

“Giving a flower to a guy,” I shrugged, “even a plastic one, is kind of…I didn’t want to be made fun of. That’s all.”

“Those guys wouldn’t have cared,” Auggie said.

“I didn’t know that.”

“Did you think about giving them the benefit of the doubt?”

“No.”

“I need to do my art.” He waved me off.

“Please let me help,” I took a few steps further into the barn. “I’m really sorry, Auggie. I really am your friend—and I’d take it back if I could.”

“The flower?” He snorted and turned towards the table to shut off the music. “You wouldn’t have to. I threw it back in the basket.”

I was grateful for him turning off the music because carrying on a conversation over blaring music was beginning to give me a headache. My chest felt other things about the discarded flower.

“No,” I said, then adjusted my volume to the now silent room, “No. I’d take back being a jerk. I’d take back hurting your feelings.”

“Fine.”

“Fine, what?” I asked. “Are you going to forgive me?”

“You hurt my feelings, Jordan.”

He slumped against the table, bracing himself with his forearms.

“It was kind of a shitty thing to do, you know?” he added.

“I know.”

“Friends don’t do shitty things to each other.”

“I should have known that, too,” I said.

Auggie stayed there, leaning against the table, his eyes not meeting mine, so I moved further into the barn, stepping over some of the ductwork. I didn’t get too close because I thought that might make him scream at me. Until he had forgiven me, I wanted to give him his space.