Page 99 of Demons Dig Donuts

“Mmhmm. They even had that bunch of rocks declared a nature preserve back in the thirties.” Mr. Heiss paused to finish his drink, but the glass did not refill this time. He set it aside, asking, “Is this the part where I’m supposed to show my interest and interrogate you as well?”

“I think you showed your interest very thoroughly just a few minutes ago, but by all means, baby. Ask away. Wanna know my favorite sex toy? Vibrating butt plug. Favorite position? Gonna sound lame, but it’s missionary. Love the closeness and the eye contact.” Indy snickered, sipping his drink.

Mr. Heiss watched him carefully. “Why did you make a deal with a demon?”

Indy choked.

Well, he walked right into that one.

Indy coughed, trying desperately not to exhale booze through his nose. “Wow, uh. Just really going for it, huh? It’s such a fun story. Not as fun as demons and rocks and whatever, but…”

Mr. Heiss stared expectantly.

Fuck.

“I wasn’t in a great place,” Indy said slowly, trying to build up a quick reply to cover his ass. As always, he knew a good foundation of truth helped construct the strongest lies, so, fuck it. “I’d made some pretty shit decisions. Dropped out of college, couldn’t find a job, and my family pretty much disowned me, and, well… I was alone.”

Mr. Heiss rubbed Indy’s arm gently but remained silent as he listened.

“No friends, no fuck buddies, nobody. No one ever stayed. Everyone left me. Gammy had already been dead for years and I didn’t know she was a ghost or whatever yet, so the company of me, myself, and I was all I had.” Indy placed his glass in his lap. “Didn’t have any money or a job or any kind of future. Just a good case of depression, binge drinking and eating all the drugs I could get my hands on, and the incredible determination that this, living like this, couldn’t be it.

“But I didn’t know what else to do, so I kept going. Over and over, fucking stuck in this stupid cycle of bullshit, and I had no idea how to stop. I knew it was bad, really bad, but it was also the only thing I had. The drugs weren’t going to leave me. The booze wouldn’t leave me. Heh. I was a mess. A mess who was fucking spiraling, needed a way out, and didn’t care what it cost.”

“Even your soul?”

“Yup.” Indy’s eyes grew hot.

He was so close to the truth that it hurt, and he vividly remembered texting his friends only to be left on read with no reply. His family stopped answering the phone or responding to his emails. He was blocked online, shut out completely, and completely alone.

It was fine.

Right, it was totally fine.

He didn’t need them. He didn’t need anyone. He had Gammy and that was enough.

The empty, aching pit inside of him longing for more intimate companionship was no big deal. He ignored it. He had always been able to handle life on his own, and he liked it that way. He didn’t actually want a relationship because that would force him to rely on another person and people were the literal worst. No, he wanted to be alone. All he needed was another drink, maybe a few pills, and then he would be fine.

Couldn’t hurt if he couldn’t feel it.

Although…

With Mr. Heiss holding him right now?

The pit didn’t feel so empty.

“So.” Mr. Heiss continued to pet Indy’s arm. “Did you get what you wanted?”

“I don’t really know anymore,” Indy whispered. “I thought so—” Not dying of cancer had been pretty great, after all. “—but hey, it’s all good.” He forced a smile and perked back up. “I get to party as much as I want now, got monster dick on demand twenty-four seven, and get to watch every season of Orange Is the New Black with my dead great-grandma.”

Mr. Heiss snorted out a small laugh.

Indy rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Okay. Your turn, jackass. Can I ask you questions that will make you cry?”

“You can certainly try.”

“Is your name really Raph?”

Mr. Heiss tensed.