Page 76 of Demons Dig Donuts

Dill!

“Yup,” Indy wheezed. “You sure did grow.”

“Yup. Grow.”

They were inside a giant prison cell, a rectangular space carved out of the orange rock all around them. There were metal bars allowing a peek into a long hallway, but no door. There was no clear exit except the way they came in—a narrow chute hundreds of feet tall. The light coming in at the very top was nothing but a tiny speck, and Indy grimly realized he was likely not meant to have survived the drop.

Dill’s foliage embrace retreated so that Indy could get a better look at their surroundings. The metal bars went from the floor to the ceiling and were embedded right into the stone. He doubted he could break them. It was hard to see much else, as the only source of illumination came from some dim torches in the hallway.

Fabulous.

Oh, and they weren’t alone.

There was an all too familiar monster with long rabbit ears curled up on the floor in the corner, battered and bloodied. Indy would have thought he was dead if it wasn’t for his frantic sobs.

“Floppy?” Indy stared. “What the fuck are you doing in here?”

“Huh?” Floppy lifted his head and then immediately scowled. “Oh, it’s you. The thief.”

“Thief? Pffft, fuck you.”

“Deceiver! Plunderer! Foul, conniving rogue!”

“Always figured I’d be more of a bard, but—”

“Dead is what you are, you ridiculous little sycophantic fop!” Floppy dragged himself to his feet. “You stole the Artifact for your demonic masters and—”

“Fuck you twice and a third time dry! I didn’t steal shit!” Indy tried to get up, but then he realized he couldn’t move.

He was completely cocooned in a bundle of thick leaves and twisted vines. Each one had a distinct pulse as they squeezed around him, and while the parts touching him were weirdly warm and very soft, the exterior bits were covered in twitching spikes. If they hadn’t fallen from the chute, he would have had to be rolled in here like that blueberry girl in the Willy Wonka movie.

Great.

Hopefully there would be no juicing room involved.

“You’re despicable,” Floppy spat at Indy and sneered.

“Dill?” Indy cooed sweetly. “Loving this tree hugger thing we got going on, but can you let me go so I can go kick the rabbit’s ass?”

“Grow,” Dill rumbled through the leaves.

“That sounds like a no.”

“This is it?” Floppy looked over the leafy mass currently cocooning Indy. “The feared spirit of the Artifact?”

“He’s usually much scarier,” Indy insisted. “Just you wait.”

“Ha.” Floppy laughed dryly.

Indy wiggled but still couldn’t escape Dill’s ridiculous hug. The pain in his arm had lessened to a dull throb, and it was easier to breathe now at least. “So. What are you in for? Got dirt on your monster rebel uniform or something? Forgot to put sugar in Mitternacht’s coffee?”

“What?” Floppy scoffed.

“Why are you locked up? Pretty sure you were with the assholes who wanted to kill me and take the ring.”

Floppy stared at Indy in confusion and then he sighed. “Oh my God. You’re an idiot.”

“Excuse me?”