Page 119 of Demons Dig Donuts
“Buffy! How cute! And oh, I can see her because I have a special buddy of my own.” Indy kissed his ring.
Dill appeared, his eyes wide as he took in all the greenery. He was very mindful of his size next to so many delicate displays, but he was definitely interested in checking out the different plants.
“Hey, babe.” Indy smiled. “Dill, this is Buffy! And that guy over there is Neil. How fun is this? Spirit party.”
“Party.” Dill sat right down on the floor, clapping excitedly as Buffy slinked up to him. He petted her ever so gently, and she started purring away.
“Big plant guy. Uh. Okay.” Neil blinked slowly before realization hit. “You have one of the wizard’s Artifacts.”
“Yup. Lucky me.” Indy chuckled, standing back up now that Buffy was distracted with Dill. “This is the Memento Mori. Comes with my very own undead leshy and his very hot girlfriend.”
“And you’re…” Neil stared. “With Mr. Heiss.”
“Yup.”
“Voluntarily?”
“Eh, like fifty-fifty.” Indy grinned.
Neil narrowed his eyes. “Buffy, come here, girl. Are you hungry? Need a snack?”
Buffy meowed, turning back toward Neil with a flick of her long tail.
Mr. Heiss sighed loudly. “Indy is not here under any duress… I am protecting him.”
“Is that true?” Neil demanded. “Because I find that very hard to believe.”
“Yes!” Indy gave Mr. Heiss’s arm a small pat. “He’s totally protecting me. Also, have you ever fucked a demon? Or just hot for werewolves? Because I would understand. The knots. Just wow. You know, I love a big, thick—” He squealed as Mr. Heiss put a hand over his mouth. “Hey, Imh ruhing toh make ah frond!”
Neil actually laughed and relaxed, shaking his head. His face was red, but he was still smiling as he replied, “Yeah, uh. You know, I kinda got this other friend who’s dating an angel and we sorta chat about that stuff every once in a while.”
“Seehmour! Yuh! Jhust met hum!” Indy flailed and finally managed to peel Mr. Heiss’s hand off. “Okay, group chat. Monster Fucker Squad.”
Neil snorted. “Let’s workshop the name, okay?”
“I am very glad you two are having so much fun, but we are here on business.” Mr. Heiss placed his hand on the back of Indy’s neck. “The flower.”
“Ugh, no fun. As usual.” Indy sighed dramatically and crossed his arms, cocking out his hip. “We need to talk to you about some sampaguita flowers. Me and my Gammy bought one from you a while back, and now we just found a bunch at a monster drug lab and there were bodies in crates and—ow! Why’d you pinch me?” Indy rubbed his butt. “Don’t bully me. I’ll come.”
“We need to know who has purchased this flower and the volume.” Mr. Heiss ignored Indy. “Now.”
The floorboards rumbled, throwing Indy off balance and causing him to careen into Mr. Heiss’s arms. “What the actual fuck?”
A loud clacking drew Indy’s attention to the menu hanging above the counter. The letters moved around to form words.
HELLO
A NEW SPIRIT!
A NEW HUMAN!
YAY
AND OH LOOK
A GIANT ASSHOLE
Mr. Heiss sneered.
