Page 116 of The Temporary Bride

After what feels like forever, the sobs slow, leaving me feeling drained but oddly lighter. I take a few deep breaths, trying to pull myself together. Tristan’s hand rubs slow circles on my back, and the heat of him pulls me back to myself.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper again, my voice still shaky.

“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize for.”

I nod against his chest, taking another deep breath. “I just… I feel like I’m losing a part of myself,” I finally admit in a small voice. “There are so many things that I… I’m going to miss. And I feel like I’m desperate to hold on to it, but… I’m going to lose it. There’s no way around it.”

Tristan’s hand stops on my back. He says nothing. I can tell he’s waiting for me to continue.

“Like…” I gesture to the large windows, to the gorgeous view of the sea outside of them. “Someday, I won’t be able to hear the waves crashing anymore. I… I won’t be able to hear my favorite songs. Or… or your voice.”

The thought is so terrible that it silences me. I sit on the edge of the bed, numb, for several seconds before I can continue.

“I know it’s not the worst thing that could happen, but I still feel so sad about it. And then I feel guilty for being upset when there are people who have it so much worse.”

Tristan tilts my chin up, making me meet his eyes. “It’s okay to mourn what you’re losing. That’s human. Just because others might have it worse doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid.”

I nod, swallowing hard. “I just don’t want to be a burden. I want to be strong.”

“You are strong,” Tristan says. “But being strong doesn’t mean you can’t feel. You don’t have to carry this alone. I’m here with you, every step of the way.”

His words help. As I lean into him, I feel some of the panic ease. His arms around me feel like a wall around me, a place where I can be both vulnerable and safe.

He looks down at me, his gaze locked on mine and full of a love that takes my breath away. The depth of his care is almost too much, and it’s in these moments that I realize how deeply I am loved. His love isn’t just comforting. It’s a promise of support, a real commitment to face whatever comes our way together.

“You know,” he says, “you’re one of the most beautiful, amazing people I know.”

I manage a weak smile, although my cheeks are still wet with tears. I gesture to my tear-stained face, feeling the dried streaks on my skin. “I’m not exactly beautiful right now,” I murmur, a hint of self-deprecation in my tone.

He shakes his head, his eyes never leaving mine. “No,” he says. “Always.”

There’s such conviction in his voice that it takes me aback. He’s not just saying it to make me feel better. He really believes it. I can see it in the way he looks at me, a combination of admiration and affection that makes my heart ache with gratitude.

Like he’s determined to prove it, he cups my face in both hands and kisses me. Not a quick kiss, not a reassuring peck, but a real one, and something in my chest loosens at the feel of it. He pulls back and presses his lips to my cheek, where the tears dried, then the other cheek, then across the bridge of my nose, my closed eyes, my temple, moving along my jaw with a patience that makes my throat tighten all over again for a completely different reason.

I let my head fall back slightly as he moves to my neck. His lips press against my skin over and over, working down the side of my throat, and I feel my breathing slow and deepen. The fear that’s been sitting in my chest since the doctor’s office doesn’t disappear, but it recedes enough that I can breathe around it.

“There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t beautiful,” he murmurs against my skin. He pulls back to look at me, his thumbs moving lightly over my cheekbones, and I try to hold his gaze and mostly manage it. “Nothing is going to change that. Nothing.”

I nod because I don’t trust my voice right now, my throat tight.

He works his way lower, his lips moving down to my collarbone, pressing soft kisses there, his hands finding the buttons of my shirt. He undoes them one at a time, and I feel each one come loose while the arousal building quietly underneath everything else gets a little louder with every one. When he parts the fabric and looks at me, the expression on his face hits me right in the chest.

I slip out of my shirt and reach back to unhook my bra, and he watches every movement like he has nowhere else to be and nothing more important to look at. His hand comes to my chest, urging me gently to lie back on the bed.

He takes his time undressing me, pressing his lips to my ankle before he slides off my sock, then doing the same on the other side. It’s such a small thing, and it makes my eyes sting.

“Every part of you,” he says quietly, kissing the inside of my ankle. “I mean that.”

He works his way up, his hands moving ahead of his mouth, and when his fingers graze lightly between my legs on their way to the button of my jeans, I suck in a breath. He tugs my jeans down and off, then his fingers hook under the waistband of my panties and pull them down slowly, the fabric trailing over the sensitive skin of my legs all the way to my feet.

Then he stands and strips out of his own clothes. I watch him, my hand drifting to my clit as he pulls his shirt over his head. He catches me staring at him and holds my gaze as he undoes his pants, smirking as his cock springs free. By the time he’s fully undressed, I can’t wait any longer. I reach for him, pulling him toward me.

“I need you,” I breathe. “Now.”

This man loves to tease me. He loves to torture me, getting me so worked up that I feel like I might die before he finally gives me what I need. But not tonight. Instead, he grips himself and presses inside like he can’t wait either.

He fucks me with slow, purposeful strokes, his forehead dropping to mine. His hands move over my skin like he’s mapping every inch of me, and as I wrap my arms around his back and hold on, the doctor’s office seems to get farther away. The word ‘surgical’ fades into the distance. All of it recedes with every thrust until I can’t find it at all.