Page 37 of About Last Night

The door opened, light spilling out into the dusk as the sun started to set, and I looked up into my brother’s concerned eyes. His gaze darted around my face and he immediately stepped out. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. My throat was clogged with an emotion I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt before. I’d experienced loss before, but it had never felt like this. I felt like I left a piece of myself on Brynn’s driveway and the rest of me back at the cabin where I’d experienced the highest high of my life and then the lowest low.

Travis gripped my bicep and then moved his hand around to my back and ushered me into his house. Sadie was curled up on the couch, a tablet in her lap. She straightened and her brows furrowed the closer I got to her. “Are you okay?”

I sat on the couch on the opposite end from her. My body felt too heavy to hold up any longer, and I bent over, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. “No,” I admitted.

I was far from okay. Yesterday I thought I’d been in love and was willing to throw away my whole career. Today, I felt empty and broken, and I was pretty sure my job was going to be the only reason to get up in the morning. I knew Raf still deserved the truth, but I couldn’t tell him. Not now. Not when it didn’t matter anyway. She’d ended things swiftly and seemed confident in her decision.

Hell, she hadn’t said a word to me on the drive back. Just that apology when she stepped out and something else she’d mumbled too low for me to hear. I hadn’t asked her what she said because I didn’t think I could take anymore.

“Got a beer?” I asked my brother. I rarely drank, but tonight seemed like a good time to drink away my problems. I was too old to get away with drinking much without feeling the effects in the morning, but the pain of a hangover might be more tolerable than the pain I felt in my chest.

“Only if you’re planning to crash in the guest room,” he replied.

I gave one nod and he turned to head to the kitchen.

“A girl?” Sadie asked, her sweet voice soft.

“A woman,” I corrected. My niece, Jenna, had scolded me once when I referred to a woman I was casually seeing as a girl and went off on a whole tangent about how they’re women and should be respected by being referred to as such. You’d never refer to a grown man as a “boy” unless you were being condescending. Her lecture had stuck with me and I found myself correcting everyone around me whenever the term was used that way.

“Ah, Jenna gave you the lecture,” Sadie said, and when I glanced over, she had a fond smile on her face. She was Jenna’s best friend, and it had been a big deal when she started hooking up with Trav behind Jenna’s back. It had messed with both of their heads, but everything had worked out in the end.

I’d never really been jealous of my brother, but I was right then. He’d gotten his well-deserved happily ever after while I was contemplating which was worse—remaining on Brynn’s detail and pretending nothing happened between us while acid ate away at my heart every second I couldn’t touch her, or walking away and asking for a reassignment which meant never seeing her again.

Both options were painful.

Thankfully, Raf had given me a few days off which meant I had time to wrap my head around everything and decide what to do.

Travis came back into the room with two beers and a bottle of water. He handed a beer to me and the water to Sadie. I arched a brow at her, and the subtle blush and way she ducked her head gave her away.

“How far along are you?”

She shook her head and looked at her husband with exasperation. “You knew he’d figure it out if I didn’t drink.”

Travis shrugged unapologetically. “You haven’t had enough water today.” He leaned over her, trapping her body between his arms. “I gotta take care of my baby while she takes care of our baby.”

I looked away when he kissed her. My heart clenched painfully tight. I wanted that, more than I’d ever allowed myself to admit before. I wanted a wife and kids—a family of my own. But not with just anyone. I wanted it with Brynn.

Did Brynn even want kids?

It was a stupid thought to have since she’d ended things, and it didn’t matter that I’d never asked her. For a second I wondered if having the answer would make me get over her faster, but I knew in my gut it wouldn’t matter if she didn’t want kids. I’d still want her. She’d be my family and that would be enough.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Trav’s voice pulled me out of my depressing thoughts.

I glanced up to find him sitting in the chair across from me and Sadie sipping at her water. They both looked at me, patiently waiting for me to tell them why I’d randomly shown up on their doorstep on a weeknight.

“I fell in love with a client who’s thirteen years younger than I am and completely out of my league. Yesterday she ended things like it all meant nothing to her.” The words poured out of me. I was used to being vulnerable with my brother, but doing it in front of Sadie was new. I wasn’t opposed to a woman’s perspective though, especially considering she once had been the younger woman in a seemingly forbidden pairing.

Travis sat forward, setting his beer on the table next to him before focusing on me. “I’m sorry. I’m going to need you to back up. Did you just say you fell in love with her? The last time we’d talked, you’d only said you found her attractive.”

I blew out a puff of air and ran my hands through my hair. “Yeah, well, it became a lot more than that.”

“Fuck,” he muttered.

“Pretty much,” I said.

“Does Raf know?” he asked.