Page 69 of In at the Deep End

Matt searched for the words. “It wasn’t what I expected.”

“What were you expecting? Blood? Explosions? Zombies?”

Matt laughed. “No… I just…” He frowned. “I expected it to be about sex.”

“And?”

“It wasn’t.” He looked across the garden. “Not really. It was about two people falling in love.”

Eric didn’t interrupt.

Encouraged, Matt found himself telling him everything else—the tenderness that had surprised him, the conversation he’d had with Owen afterwards, Owen’s matter-of-fact description of casual relationships, and the parties where everyone knew exactly what they wanted.

The part where he’d jerked off was not for public consumption.

Eric was quiet for a few seconds. “What you’re telling me is it wasn’t the sex.”

Matt frowned. “What?”

“The thing that’s got under your skin. You’re not talking about two blokes having sex.”

Matt opened his mouth, then closed it again.

“In fact, you’ve spent the last five minutes describing everything except that. We’ve had cooking, teasing, looking after each other… The only thing you don’t sound shaken about is the fact that they were two men. And that’s because it looked…” Eric left the sentence unfinished.

Matt found himself finishing it. “Nice.”

“More than nice, if I heard you right.”

He nodded, his heartbeat quickening. “It looked like… somewhere I’d want to be.”

Eric went quiet for a second or two. “I think you’re reacting to the fact they actually wanted each other. Not just physically. They wanted to spend time together. They made each other laugh. They looked after each other. What were they like when things got physical?”

Heat surged through Matt. “They couldn’t keep their hands off each other.” He stared out across the garden.

“Every time you talked about dating, you made sex sound like the bit you had to get through to keep the relationship going.”

Matt winced.

“These two were the opposite,” Eric continued. “The sex wasn’t replacing the relationship. It was growing out of it.”

He swallowed. “Yeah.”

“And that is the first thing I’ve ever heard you sound excited about.”

Silence.

Then Eric spoke again. “You know what I think?”

“What?”

“You’ve spent years assuming everyone wants sex first and feelings later.” He chuckled. “Then you stumble across a film where they already care about each other.”

Matt perched on the edge of a low wall. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

“And then Owen tells you he does the exact opposite.”

Matt frowned. “What do you mean?”