Page 91 of Rogue Riders Duet

I flinch like he slapped me.

Nothing about this is livable.

The only reason I’m still on my feet, still pretending to be upright and okay, is pure spite. I’m not standing because I’m strong. I’m standing because falling would mean letting him win.

If there weren’t a finish line and this ticking clock in my head promising it’ll all be over soon, I’d be crumpled in bed, fists in the sheets, screaming into a pillow, and begging someone to make it stop.

The only reason I haven’t broken yet is because I told myself I wasn’t allowed to, not until I finish what I came here to do.

My hip throbs in pain as if in answer to my thoughts.

“You promised,” I whisper, my throat tight.

“I know I fucking promised!” Dane chokes, and a tear cuts down his cheek, but his face is twisted in fury. “That was six years ago when I was scared out of my mind. When I thought…” he sucks in a breath, “… when I thought you’d kill yourself the second I turned my back.”

“I told you. I promised to hold out until the end of this season. No matter the outcome. That’s it. That was the deal. I’ll keep my promise. But it’ll happen⁠—”

“No,” he cuts in. “No, it won’t. I won’t let that happen. I would never let that happen, Al.”

“You swore.” My eyes and nose burn. “You swore, Dane.”

All these years. Countless hours of pain, every extra dose of meds. Endless miles on that damn trainer, pushing through screaming nerves and fractured bones.

“I lied!” he roars. “I fucking lied, okay? I will not let you quit on yourself after this. I won’t let you give up. You never gave up, not really. You came back, you’re back, Alaina. Look at you. You’re stronger than ever, faster than…”

“More numb than ever,” I roar back. “That’s the word you’re looking for.”

He wants to open his mouth, but I cut him off.

“I’m numb, Dane, except for the parts that hurt all the fucking time. I’m in excruciating pain constantly. And when I’m not? I’m medicated into something that barely even feels like me.”

He frowns at me, hurt in his gaze. “You never told me.”

“Why would I?” I press the heels of my hands to my eyes.

Just breathe. Don’t cry.

“There’s pain therapy,” he says quickly, desperately. “Maybe another surgery, maybe we could talk to someone, figure out…”

“No.”

“You’re back, Alaina. Back with the living, and I’m not letting you walk away from that.”

I drop my hands and stare at him. Shivering arms, bloodshot eyes, his whole body held together by fever, stubbornness, and that same rope he’s been holding for six goddamn years. He’s still trying to keep me here.

My protector is still trying to save me.

But he can’t. Not from this.

Especially not from myself.

“I don’t need your help for this. I can win this shit on my own, and then I can leave it all behind on my own.” I storm down the bus’s aisle, my anger so much easier to hold onto than my pain.

“Alaina!”

Something slams into the floor, and I turn back quickly, my mouth parting at the sight of Dane on his knees. Stumbling and confused, his hands reach for something that isn’t there before he collapses sideways into the wall.

“Fuck,” I curse as I rush forward, catching him just before he crumples completely to the floor.