Page 4 of Retrofit Analysis

Elizabeth closes her eyes as if she’s embarrassed. Cal nods. “Well, it’s got ass and burger in the word, so that’s fun.” He looks at Elizabeth. “Seriously, though, half the guys at our work are probably on the spectrum. If Jake wants to come pick my uncle’s brains about crankshafts, it’s really fine.”

“Uncle?” Elizabeth looks at me, her eyes sharp. “I thought…” She shakes her head. “Forgive me. Let’s start again.” She holds a hand out toward Cal. “Elizabeth Gaston⁠—“

“Burns,” Jake yells, his head under the vehicle.

She nods. “Right. I forgot again. Elizabeth Burns. We just moved in across the street.”

Cal pumps her hand. “Callum Brady. I just mooch my uncle’s driveway when the Bronc acts up.”

She squints at him and thinks for a bit. “If he’s your uncle, you must be…Mick’s boy. Is that right? Mick?”

Cal and I both roll our eyes. He says, “I apologize in advance for however it is you know my pop.” This gets a laugh out of her. I still can’t find the words to say anything.

Where to begin? How have you been for the past 30 years? Who did you marry and why are you changing your name back? Do you have other children? May I tell you all about my beloved wife, God rest her soul? Sorry again for anything inelegant I may have done with our bodies as teenagers?

Elizabeth tucks her light hair behind her ears. It’s cut chin-length and suits her. Her face is the same as before, but wiser. What must she have seen and experienced since we last were together? I stare at her as these thoughts circle endlessly until she excuses herself and drags Jake home for breakfast.

Once they’re inside, my nephew thwacks me in the chest. I look down at his hand, startled again. That’s twice today he’s frazzled me. “Uncle Kel,” he says. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

“Into me?”

His eyes bug out. “You were, like, totally aloof. You didn’t even offer her tea or whatever.” He starts to clean up his things, handling my tools carefully for once. “Who is she?”

I clear my throat and help him clean up, wondering how best to explain Beth Burns to my nephew. “We used to work together at Kennywood,” I tell him, smiling at the memories of my teenage summers driving the train at the amusement park. “She ran the ticket counter.”

He grins. “No shit? Teen sweethearts? Is that what it’s called?” He shakes his head. “Anyway, why’d you break up? Cuz you met Aunt Helen?”

I sigh and shrug. “There was no reason,” I tell him. I think again of riding the rides with Beth after the park closed for the night, after everyone else went home. We’d sit in the back of the Thunderbolt and I’d kiss her as the bottom of the world dropped away, loving the rush of energy that came equally from the ride and the pleasure of being with her.

“I was going away to college,” I tell him. “She was going away to college.” I hold out my palms and shrug. “We didn’t keep in touch.”

He raises an eyebrow at me. “From the looks of things, Uncle Kel, you’d like to touch her right now,” Cal says.

I smack his shoulder. “Watch your manners, son,” I say. If only you knew, I think.

Four

Elizabeth

“Beth,” Lisa huffs into the phone. “I told you not to buzz. Just come up.” I’m meeting her at her office for lunch and always feel out of place when I go someplace professional. I haven’t been part of the business world since Jake was born. By the time he was born, after all the years of infertility and struggle, I was already planning to stay home with him.

That choice seemed like an even bigger blessing when I was so sick for so long, and then an even greater blessing when Jake turned out to be…I sigh. My son’s mind works very differently from the mainstream culture and it’s taken a lot of work and a lot of time to help him be successful.

I walk up the stairs to Lisa’s office and tap gingerly on the glass door to her company’s suite. She’s on the phone and waves me in side. Lisa is ten years younger than me, but we met when Jake and her oldest son, Dhruv, were in preschool. Lisa went on to have two more children in rapid succession, despite the challenges of her oldest having autism like Jake.

I pretty much think she’s a superhero who sort of lets me tag along beside her. I smile and sit in the chair opposite her desk. Lisa stayed home with her kids when they were younger but rejoined the work world about five years ago. I’ve sorely missed our long swaths of time together during the week. This lunch feels like even more of a treat since Jake and Dhruv are at daycamp together and I’m not anxious about getting a call about Jake’s behavior. The boys both do better when they have each other around.

“Let me just grab my sunglasses,” Lisa says, tossing down her phone. “Let’s sit outside somewhere.” I nod and follow as she points to different staff members, letting them know where various projects stand and what she’s expecting when she gets back from lunch.

“Project management suits you so well,” I tell her, knowing that she runs her household with the same efficiency. All her kids’ schedules are color-coded and she’s got reminders in her phone for everything from med refills to auto payments to their housekeeper.

“I love keeping these geeks in line,” she says. We walk across the way to a new restaurant serving Korean street food. I don’t have to remind Lisa that Todd never approved of strong, garlicky foods. Just eating this meal is an act of rebellion, of independence. I smile, enjoying the company and the adventure.

“Talk to me about the silver fox across the street,” she says, slurping a bubble tea and pointing a finger at me. “Skip nothing.”

I shrug, munching the pickled veggies on our table. “We went to high school together. Burns, Brady…he always turned up in my classes. Things got hot and heavy senior year, but we were both headed off to college.”

Lisa squints at me. I roll my eyes. “Neither of us felt like we wanted anything long distance. I honestly haven’t thought about him for 30 years.” What I don’t tell her is now that I’ve seen him again, seen how he’s grown into a sexier, salt-and-pepper version of teenaged Kellen…I can’t stop thinking about him.