Page 43 of Retrofit Analysis

“I feel like I don’t have anything to offer you,” I tell him, voicing my fear, realizing as I say it how true it is.

He shakes his head. “How about you just offer yourself,” Kellen says, and leans forward to press a kiss against my forehead.

His lips feel so safe, so soft, so loving. “God that feels good,” I blurt, closing my eyes and leaning against his chest. He tilts my head back and kisses my lips, his tongue sweeping between mine. It feels familiar and exciting and I moan, returning his kiss, pressing my fingers against his chest until I feel his heart racing, just like mine.

My phone starts to ring in my pocket and I groan as reality sets back in. I can’t give Kellen myself. “Answer it,” he says, reaching for my pocket. “I can wait.”

I look into his eyes and see that he means it, that he’s willing to stand by while I address whatever crisis awaits me on the other end of the line. He nods. I bring the phone to my ear. It’s Erin.

“You’re going to be so excited,” she tells me. “Our hearing is first thing Monday. And we got the judge I’m excited about.”

“Monday?”

“Yes, and this is great news, I promise.” Erin tells me to be at the court building by 8 on Monday and I chew on my lip while she talks. Kellen massages my shoulders, and I lean into his touch.

“This could all be over in a few days,” I tell him.

He grins at me. “It’s going to be a relief,” he says, giving my shoulders another squeeze. “I can feel it.” He helps me round up Jake and kisses me goodnight while Jake groans from the passenger seat.

“Thanks again for including me tonight, J,” he says, leaning in across me to shake Jake’s hand.

“Just stop kissing my mom in public,” he says, rolling his eyes.

Thirty-Three

Elizabeth

I don’t sleep well this weekend. For one thing, any time I have to abruptly change Jake’s plans, it’s fraught. I’m so tired, mentally, and he needs to ask me a lot of questions over and over again to feel reassured about what to expect on Monday.

“What is the statistical likelihood Dad will send me away?” He looks so young, so vulnerable. I pull him into my arms and promise him I will never let that happen. I do it again and again, right up until we park in the garage downtown, both wearing our most uncomfortable professional clothes, and we walk hand in hand toward the courthouse.

Erin is waiting for us in the lobby, greeting us warmly and abruptly in a way that oddly sets Jake at ease. “That flaming asshole doesn’t even have a lawyer,” she snorts. “Sorry, kid,” she adds as an afterthought, but Jake just shrugs.

We enter the elevator and make our way to the courtroom. The hall is crowded and bustling with people in suits, angry parents, a few sullen kids. Erin pushes the open the door to our hearing room and I take a deep breath before crossing the threshold.

There, standing stoically in a dark grey suit, is Kellen Brady, grinning. My jaw drops and my heart swells a little bit. I didn’t even call him this weekend, or leave my house, or really leave the fetal position. It never occurred to me to ask him to come with me, but seeing him here I feel…hope.

“Hey, Beth,” he says, leaning in to kiss my cheek. I hear Jake grumble beside me and Kellen tosses him a wink. He reaches a hand out toward Erin. “Kellen Brady.”

She raises her eyebrows and looks him up and down. “Erin Long,” she says, pulling back her hand and turning toward me, then back to Kellen. “You, sir, are what we call an upgrade.”

Kellen blushes and shifts his weight. It’s then that I notice he’s not here alone. Grinning behind him are Callum and…Orla. Jake hustles over to them and beams. “What are you guys doing here?”

Cal shrugs. “We had nothing better to do, so we thought we’d hang out and then take you with us to check out all the robots at our office.”

“You have robots in your office?”

Erin taps my shoulder and gestures toward the front of the room. “Come on, guys,” she says. “Let’s do this thing.”

My head swims as the judge enters and the court staff give their spiel. I barely look over at smarmy Todd, sitting by himself seeping audacity. I think about Kellen here, even though I ignored him all weekend. Orla came. Orla!

I’m rubbing circles on Jake’s back without thinking as Todd stands up. Apparently he gets to go first since he is filing today’s motion. He waves around a USB drive, saying, “I have compelling video evidence here, your honor.” Erin rolls her eyes and grins as he begins to play the video on the monitor in the front of the court. I cringe as Todd starts yelling, and I hear Orla and Cal growl at the part where Kellen shows up and tries to calm things down.

Once Todd starts yelling about sending Jake away, the judge holds up his hand. “That’s enough, Mr. Gaston,” he says, sternly.

“Your honor? I think you need to see the rest of this to⁠—“

Judge Palowski takes off his glasses and sets them on the desk. He crosses his arms across his chest. “Mr. Gaston, are you aware that I also have an autistic teenager?”