Page 8 of My Sunfall

I throw my head back with a groan. “Of course you do.”

“Still,” he adds, smirking, “being the sun has its perks. Everyone gravitates toward it. Can’t blame them.” His grin is devastating and my heart clenches painfully in my chest.

“So,” he continues lightly, “does your precious Phoebus at least survive?”

“Yes. He survived and settled in a loveless marriage.”

Lucas chuckles. “Sounds like a win to me.”

My throat constricts. “You really think so?”

He flashes me another grin. “The sun doesn’t need love, or anyone,” he says easily. “Love is for the weak.”

Suddenly I am feeling chilled despite the warm weather. I stand, brushing imaginary dust from my arms. “I’m getting a glass of water.”

“Running already?” he calls after me, amused.

From that day on, I kept calling him Phoebus when I wanted to rile him up and he kept brushing it off with a big smile and a laugh, cocky and self-confident as always.

* * * *

‘Just friends.’

That’s how he sees me. Maybe not even that. What he’d said sounded awfully like pity.

I had been prepared for a rejection when I decided to open my heart to him. I had even hoped for a rejection. At least, that would’ve set my heart free to look elsewhere, because let’s face it, someone like him would never look at someone like me. Daughter of a traitor. Spineless Mafia princess. A mere pawn, worthless beyond the role she was born into. I had prepared myself for a kind rebuff with a fond smile and some meaningless words. But not this… Not for him tearing my heart out and stomping on the broken pieces until all that’s left was dust. Admittedly, he didn’t know I was there to hear his words, but it hurt more that he never told me how he felt about me. To hear him say those words, voicing what he really thought of me, and to one of his ex-lovers like Tiffany of all people, that shattered me beyond repair.

‘She’s too soft for the likes of me.’

His words loop endlessly in my head until I am drowning in them. I feel like I am drifting away, hollow, cold…as if the last parts of myself drained out with my tears and all that is left is an empty shell.

When I climb out of the bathtub, I am still numb, but there is also a new resolve blooming in my chest.

I am done, with him, with Nathan. With Father. I am done with all of them.

I fish my phone out of my clutch I had carelessly thrown on the bed when I got into my room. There’s a missed call from Lily and a message from him.

I send Lily a quick text.

Hey Lee, I went home, sorry for not telling you but I wasn’t feeling well. Feeling better now, I’ll text you tomorrow. Luv U.

Then I take a deep breath before tapping Lucas’ message.

Where are you, sweetheart? You still owe me a dance.

Rage makes my heart race and my head spin. He has no right! And how did he even find out that I left? He should be holed up somewhere with Tiffany by now. I don’t bother replying and angrily swipe the message feed away, refusing to give him any more of my tears.

Then I open another feed and type a message.

Hey, Erin.

Erin’s reply is almost immediate.

Hey Chiquita, what’s up?

I smile despite the heaviness in my chest. She had given me that nickname after we sang Abba’s song together during karaoke night. “I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet,” she sang. “That’s so you,” she’d said after the song ended, hugging me. “But remember that I’m a shoulder you can lean on anytime.”

I type.