Page 3 of My Sunfall

Breathe… Just breathe. Focus on something, anything.

I force my mind to focus through the pain and the crushing sensation of powerlessness washing over me. The hard surface of the door against my back. The cold floor under my bare feet. My nails digging painfully into my arms. Gradually, oxygen flows back into my lungs and my gasps for air become less strained. I remain prostrate, letting the waves of despair overwhelm me and my tears overflow.

For what feels like hours, I sob brokenly into my arms. I can’t go on like this—I’m falling into pieces, and soon there will be nothing left of me. The walls of my bedroom feel too close, and I raise my face to stare at the faint light spilling in through the sheer curtains. I lift a trembling hand to my face, wiping away the tears, trying to pull myself together, thinking about how everyone else’s lives seem so fulfilled. Lily is safe, in love, with a family that feels whole. Erin, our friend, has become a hero by uncovering a ring of corrupt cops and politicians involved in human trafficking. Everyone’s chapters are moving forward, while mine is stuck between dark pages I’m too afraid to turn. I’m trapped in this place, as the perfect, polite Mafia princess my mother groomed me to be.

I am happy for them, of course I am! But I can’t suppress this yearning or even the envy to have only a fraction of what they have. Most of all, I can’t suppress this longing anymore. The fact that when Lucas smiles at me, I still imagine what it would be like if it meant something more.

Lucas Romano, Damiano’s second-in-command in the famiglia. I’ve had a crush on him for as long as I can remember. Who wouldn’t? He is the kind of man who lights up a room with a smile. “Fast cars and fleeting relationships” could be his car sticker, and I’d absolutely loathe him if he were conceited and vain. But he is neither. Instead, he is kind, attentive and he remembers every little detail about everyone, as meaningless as it may seem. He is funny, devastatingly handsome, and so caring it makes my heart ache. He has a way of looking at people that makes them feel like only they exist in his world. Of course, he doesn’t look at me like that. Not when there’s a new woman on his arm every week. They are always the same type, tall, leggy, and supermodel material. All the opposite of my five feet of slight form and weak appearance.

Still, I watch him from afar whenever I can, heart cracking more with every smile he throws at his flavor of the week.

But today, something inside me shifts. Maybe it’s because I have nothing left to lose. I will confess my feelings to him during this Friday’s gala where he is likely to attend. I can’t keep carrying this in silence anymore. If he rejects me, at least I’ll know I tried, at least I’ll have spoken before I disappear completely.

Chapter Two

Chiara

I step out of the car and nervously smooth my dress over my thighs. I’ve gone with a long golden designer gown. The cut is classic, but it hugs my figure at the right places, and I know that it complements my warm skin tone and makes my blonde hair glow. And the long sleeves hide the bruises on my arms. My nerves are shot and my stomach is roiling, but I breathe through it all. Tonight, I am changing my fate. Whatever the outcome is, at least I’ll get out of this emotional limbo I’ve been living in.

Inside, I immediately spot Lily and Damiano at the far end and go over to greet them. My sister hugs me and Damiano gives me a nod. We exchange a few minutes of polite conversation, but my mind isn’t here. My nerves are shot and I feel sick to my stomach. I hope I don’t throw up.

His voice suddenly booming behind us makes me startle. “Hey, aren’t those my favorite girls?”

Lily spins around with a light laugh and I slowly follow suit, schooling my face into an impassive mask. Lucas stands there, impossibly tall and heartbreakingly handsome in a navy suit, his dirty-blond hair gleaming under the chandeliers, sky-blue eyes twinkling and a cheshire-cat grin promising mischief. He brushes a kiss over Lily’s cheek, completely ignoring Damiano’s territorial growl, then turns to me. He grabs my hand, and before I can protest, he twirls me on my axis.

“Wow, Chiara,” he says, his low voice brushing over my skin like velvet. “You look like every man’s dream.”

Heat floods my face and my heart thunders so loudly I am sure the whole room must hear it. He pulls me close with the palm of his hand pressing against the small of my back and leans down to brush a kiss over my cheek. Are his lips lingering longer than necessary, or am I just imagining it? Am I the only one feeling the electrifying spark zapping to my toes every time we touch?

He lets go and flashes a grin to the people in the room, bantering lightly, joking, laughing, making the whole room sparkle brighter like he always does. And I stand there, watching my friend light up the room while I sip champagne, praying I won’t be sick.

“Chiara, you outshine every woman in this room,” comes a deep, low voice behind me and I swivel around to find Nathan Wellington looking at me with a warm smile.

“Nathan.” I laugh, refraining from rolling my eyes. “You must say that to every woman at these galas.”

He shakes his head with a fond smile and takes my hand to brush his lips over my knuckles. “Only to you, Chiara. Every time I see you, I think you can’t possibly be more beautiful. And you prove me wrong every time.”

Heat creeps up my cheeks and I avert my eyes, looking anywhere but at him. “I should congratulate your father, he has set quite a standard this evening.” I try to divert the conversation. His father, the mayor, is hosting today’s gala. Nathan and I went to school together but lost touch over the years. We reconnected not long ago when we started gravitating in the same circles.

“Wellington,” a voice drawls next to me and I almost let out a startled yelp.

Lucas. I thought he’d already left to flutter around like the social butterfly he is, but I was wrong. He extends his hand with a blinding smile and Nathan takes it with a polite nod.

“Good to see you,” Lucas goes on, his tone warm but there is a cold glint in his eyes. “How’s Daddy? Still making sure you’re invited to all the cool parties?”

Nathan stiffens, jaws tight. But Lucas doesn’t let go right away and I can sense the air between them charge with something primal, although I can’t fathom why. Nathan finally pulls his hand free, then he turns to me as if Lucas didn’t exist, and his face softens.

“Chiara, perhaps you’d allow me the honor of a dance?”

Before I can reply, Lucas steps closer and takes my hand. “She’s already promised me the next one.” And he unceremoniously drags me to the dance floor where we begin to sway.

I frown up at him. “Did you have to be so callous to Nathan?”

Lucas snorts, grinning unapologetically. “I saved you from that trust fund baby and this is how you thank me? Let me tell you what, you owe me another dance later.”

I swat him lightly on the chest, half-annoyed, half-laughing. “I’ll have you know that he is a famous athlete and owns a successful sports brand, he is hardly a trust fund baby.”

“Brand he created with whose money? Daddy’s, of course,” Lucas shoots back with contempt.