Page 358 of Power Play

Bliss wiped tears from her cheek. “You made us part of your parents’ control without giving us the chance to prove we were safe.”

“I know.”

“No, Cee. You don’t get to cry and say you know until we stop being angry.”

I flinched.

Bliss had never spoken to me that way. Her voice remained soft, which made every word sharper.

“You hid six months from us. You sat on our couch and talked around the biggest thing happening in your life while Aura and I tried to support you with half the truth. We found out because the guys knew more about your relationship than we did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I believe you.”

The answer didn’t offer forgiveness.

“You didn’t only hide Ryan,” Bliss continued. “You hid from us. You decided your fear mattered more than our friendship.”

Tears blurred her face.

“I would have helped you,” she said. “If you told me you were terrified of your parents finding out, I would’ve helped you decide how to tell them. If you said you weren’t ready, I would’ve kept your secret. If you said you loved him so much that it scared you, I would’ve sat beside you until it didn’t.”

My throat closed.

“You never gave us the chance.”

“I’m sorry, B.”

“I know.”

Aura stood beside her. “Ryan asked you to let him exist in your life. You kept him inside whatever parts nobody else could see.”

“I wasn’t ashamed of him.”

“Then you need to figure out what you were ashamed of.”

The answer came from somewhere deeper than thought.

“Me.”

Both women went still.

I wrapped my arms around myself, but nothing could protect me from the truth once it had been spoken.

“I was ashamed of me.”

Bliss’s anger faltered.

“I wanted him so badly, and wanting anything that much has always felt dangerous. If I told you, I had to admit I possessed something my father could take away. I had to admit Ryan mattered enough to destroy me.”

Aura’s eyes filled.

“So, I kept him where I thought nobody could reach him.” My voice dissolved beneath the sob rising through it. “I hid him so well that when he finally needed me to claim him, I didn’t know how.”

Bliss cried silently.

Neither woman rushed toward me. They allowed the truth to remain between us because loving me no longer meant helping me escape it.