Page 116 of Once Upon a Fall

I know this because each time I’ve opened the freezer to pull out something to eat and have seen every individually wrapped meal with Dean’s reheating instructions on it, I cry.

The first time was the worst. I ran to the freezer after he texted me and then lay on the floor crying until Dominic found me there and asked me why I was crying, and the only words I could get out were food and why, and I think he wondered if the flu had actually gone to my brain. Which was fair, really.

Embarrassingly, two days later, I’m still tearing up at the sight.

Like right now, as I blink back tears while I heat spaghetti and meatballs in the microwave. That Dean made.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I miss him so much. It actually feels worse than a breakup. At least with a breakup, there would be some anger or hurt feelings. I don’t have any of that. I’m not hurt or angry that Dean left. I’m just miserable.

I hear a knock on the door, and then my dad peeks his head in.

“There you are,” he says.

“Hey, Dad,” I say, turning away to wipe the tears from my eyes. He doesn’t need to see me crying over spaghetti.

“I just wanted to check on you and see how you’re feeling,” he says.

“I’m much better,” I tell him.

I’m physically better—I can get things done without needing a nap. But mentally, I’m kind of a disaster.

I’m not telling him that part, though.

“Good to hear,” he says, coming farther into the kitchen.

The microwave beeps, and I open the door, pull out my steaming dinner, and set it on the island.

“I heard Dean left,” he says.

So that’s what it feels like to be stabbed in the gut. How fun.

I wonder who told him. Dominic, who saw me crying over frozen food? Emma, who texted me earlier to check up on me? It might have been the Ednas. I haven’t talked to either of them, but that means nothing in this town.

It could have been any of them, and honestly, it doesn’t matter.

“Yeah,” I say, and then blink rapidly several times. “He’s in Manhattan now.”

“Is he coming back?”

“Just when the farm sells,” I say. And then he’ll have no reason to come back to Autumn Ridge, unless the festival somehow turned him into a leaf peeper and he’s planning an annual pilgrimage.

Somehow I doubt that.

“Well, I just thought I’d check up on you,” he says.

“Thanks, Dad.”

I expect him to say goodbye, but he doesn’t. He just stands there with his hands in his pockets.

“Also, I wanted to tell you that Alvina and I broke up,” he says.

“Oh.” In my own freezer-full-of-food heartbreak, I’d forgotten all about that.

“It’s for the best,” he says.

It’s kind of strange for him to drop this on me when we never even discussed his dating her in the first place. I guess he knew I had talked to Emma and Dominic about it.