Page 99 of The Incendiary

“Do you think I don’t want you?” Ella’s sweet voice cracked. “Do you think this is easy for me? I don’t get to choose what I want!” She ripped herself from my grasp. “I have a responsibility, Gavin! My fate, my destiny is decided. They need me for this power that chose me! I’ve never wanted or chosen anything in my life until you! I’m trapped, and until we find a way to do the impossible and eradicate Molochai from this earth, nothing will free me!”

“And why can’t you have both?” I demanded. “This—us—and your duty? Why can’t I be by your side, helping you, loving you every step of the way?”

“Simeon—”

“Fuck Simeon! You chose me,” I reminded her, frustration burning beneath my skin. “All your life, you’ve had your choices taken from you, but you chose me.”

She nodded, looking unsure. “I did, but⁠—”

“No, no, no.” I panicked. “You chose me. You do. You want this. You want us.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt, or worse!”

“This is worse!” I shouted, eyes burning with reckless tears. “Losing you is worse than dying, Aryella⁠—”

“Don’t you dare say that!” Horror cast a pall over her beautiful face. “That cannot be true.”

“Don’t tell me what’s true!” I snapped. “When you know what it’s like to spend your whole life waiting for someone to want you for exactly who you are, and someone finally does—” I gestured to her, my voice breaking. “—someone so astoundingly beautiful and good and selfless and perfect, then you can tell me I’m wrong, that I wouldn’t rather die than live without you.”

My gut twisted when she winced. Because she did know. Of course she knew. She spent her whole life locked up and hiding due to a title and power she’d never asked for.

“Ella.” I reached for her. “I’m sorry.”

She lifted her hand, stopping me. “I know exactly what it’s like to wish someone would want you for who you are. I know what it’s like to wish you were enough.” She stepped toward me and let me wrap my hands around hers. “But I didn’t know that I was going to fall in love with you.” My heart swelled at the sweet sound of her admission. “I love you, Gavin.” She shrugged helplessly, her voice faltering. “But I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” I held her face. “You can.”

She shook her head, but she didn’t pull away. “It’s not possible.”

Then I would make it fucking possible.

I dropped to my knees and pulled out the ring I’d kept in my pocket all summer long. When she gasped and stumbled backward, I grabbed and steadied her.

“Will you marry me?” I asked, ring in one palm, her hand in my other.

“What?” she gasped.

“Marry me,” I pleaded. “I’m no prince or king. I don’t have much money or a castle or horses or an army to send into battle, but I don’t want any of that. I just want you, Ella. Time, moments, and a life with you.”

She covered her mouth with both hands, tears falling.

“I will fight to the death, come back from hell again and again for you, because I love you,” I promised. “I love you so much I can’t breathe, so please let me be your husband. I want your heart, your mind, your soul, your beauty—gods, every part of you is so fucking beautiful.” I cupped her face when she choked out a heartbreaking sob. “Please marry me.”

“Gavin,” she wept, shaking her head. “This is impulsive!”

“I made these rings the night we met. Impulsive would have been running away with you and marrying you then. And believe me, I wanted to.” I stroked her cheek. “You are not doing all this alone. We will do it together, whatever it takes.”

“It’s not up to me.”

“This is your life!” I urged. “Your choice.”

“It’s not my choice.” Her voice turned dull and lifeless as she recited one of many lies she’d been told.

“Yes, it is!” I stood, drawing her close. “I’ve never believed in destiny, but I believe with all my heart, that I exist for you, Ella.” I cradled her head in my hands. Whether or not she agreed to marry me, this next part was eternally true. I needed her to believe it. “The world can collapse around us. The seas can flood the plains. The trees can burn with unquenchable fire. I will stay by your side. And if by the will of the gods you fall into the earth as it crumbles, I will fall with you.” I kissed her forehead, then pulled back to look deeply into the stunning green, gold-speckled eyes that had become my everything. “This is my vow to you forever.”

Tears fell down her cheeks like gentle streams, but there was nothing gentle about this. It felt like a rope stretched between us, and while someone tried to cut that rope with a dull blade, the strands were alive, feeling every vicious slice, and fighting desperately to reconnect and survive.

“I love you.” I lightly kissed her cheek. “I love you.” I switched to the other, then rested my lips on her forehead and whispered, “Ella, I love you.”