Page 86 of The Incendiary

I should have looked down, though.

If I had, I would have noticed his mouth closing in on mine.

I wished his lips weren’t soft and hard at the same time. I wished he tasted bad or that I couldn’t taste him at all, but while I regained my bearings, mint and juniper and something undeniably clean swirled in the breaths between us and invaded all my senses.

My body wanted to like it—like him—because gods, he smelled good, and he kissed like he knew exactly what he was doing. Elias’s palm flattened on the wall beside my head as he pinned me with his hips. For a moment, Elias Winterton and his perfect mouth kissed me like he owned me. Until I reared back, shoved him off me with one hand, made a fist with the other, and swiped it across his beautiful face with all my might.

Because I had not asked for this.

An angry grunt tore from my throat as my knuckles lit up with pain. Stress sent my pulse racing. What just happened? Had I let that happen?

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I spat, shoving him away with both hands before retreating. “Back off!” He obeyed and put a respectful distance between us.

A very dominant part of me wanted to shed tears. I’d only ever kissed one man. I’d only ever wanted to kiss one man. I felt proud of that. I felt loyal, even if our situation felt impossible and the future was entirely unknown. Now that feeling of loyalty had just been jeopardized in the span of a few unwilling seconds, and I hadn’t seen it coming.

At least I’d hit Elias so hard that blood trickled down his chin, the sight marring his beautiful face. One good thing had come of it.

He returned one hand to his jaw to rub where I struck him. “Does this mean we’re even?”

A low, crazed laugh rasped out of my chest. I turned away, eager to get the hell away from him.

“Fera!” he called after I took a few steps down the narrow path.

Deep breaths. That’s it.

I heard Gavin’s voice and stilled. The more I reacted, the more Elias knew he affected me.

“What?” I snapped coldly.

“Your cabinmates said you were screaming.” Gravel crunched behind me as Elias closed in. His steps were slow, like he was trying not to startle me. “‘Don’t close me in.’ That’s what you were shouting.” He repeated the words from my dream, confirming I’d said them aloud. Only the gods knew what else I’d said. “What does that mean?”

Those cold hands snaked out of my memory, around my throat, and squeezed.

“My dreams are none of your business,” I rushed out.

“A dream?” His voice was skeptical, but gentle as he turned to face me. “Sounds like one of your nightmares to me.” My breath hitched when he tucked his finger beneath my chin and lifted it. “Nightmares as memories you can’t recall?”

I shrunk back. His touch felt wrong, it was wrong, but it wasn’t repulsive, either. In a different reality, I could see myself seeking refuge there.

But he was not my refuge.

“I will not tell you again.” My voice chilled. “Do not touch me, Commander Winterton.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am not yours to touch.”

I clenched my teeth in a futile attempt to catch the words before they rolled off my tongue. As Fera, it shouldn’t matter whose I was to touch, but he would find out I was his queen, and I had a feeling he didn’t forget things very easily.

“Well, gods save the lucky asshole that made you his.” He cocked his head at me. “Though if I were him, I wouldn’t be letting you out of my sight.”

“If he had a choice in the matter, he wouldn’t be,” Shera growled from far beyond the fortress walls. “You and I both know he’d be by your side right now if it wouldn’t put you in mortal danger.”

She was right, and I knew the truth. Knew who I belonged to. Who I had, and would, lay my heart, body, and soul completely bare to if given the chance again, no matter how many times I tried to deny it to myself.

I silently stared daggers into Elias’s back as he walked away, neither confirming nor denying to him that I belonged to any man.

All he needed to know was that I belonged to myself.