Page 158 of The Incendiary

“Good.” Abram set two glass bottles on my bedside table, then squatted down to meet my eye level and lowered his voice. “Listen, I don’t know the full extent of what happened to you last night. It’s up to you if you want to share, and whatever you choose to tell me is confidential. I’ll help in any way I can.” He pointed to the bottles. “But I want you to have these. On the left is a fast-acting contraceptive, in case you ever need it. On the right is long-term. You take a spoonful once a week.” He noticed my eyes widening in horror. “It’s very normal,” he assured me. “I’d say about three-quarters of the women in this fortress use it. I wasn’t sure you knew that you had the option, and I wanted to make sure you do.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and croaked out, “Okay. Thank you.”

He nodded, brushing his palms over his knees as he stood. “Please come to me if you need anything else.” I looked up into Abram’s caring eyes and felt gratitude settle in my chest. “And—” He glanced behind him like someone might hear. “—the commander was wrong to react that way. I’m sorry I called him in.”

I wanted to tell him not to blame himself. That Elias was responsible for his own actions. By the time I found the courage to form the words, he’d already left.

“Shera?” I called down the pathway, having not checked for hours. She couldn’t know what had happened or how Elias had reacted. I worried she’d rip out all their throats in Gavin’s stead.

“I’m here.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m… sad.” Her sweet voice sounded so young. So tired. He had saved her life, too. “But I’m okay.”

“Me too. I’m sad, too.”

We both knew sad didn’t cover it.

“We can’t give up, Ary. It’s not what he would have wanted.”

“I know. I just⁠—”

“One of us will be back to check on you every few hours,” Mina chirped. “We brought you back some breakfast. It’s there.” She pointed to the table in the center of our room.

My eyes flashed from the food to the twins. They were getting their boots on. It had to be past breakfast by now, and it was a sparring day. I stood with a pained groan and hobbled over to the table.

“Can you wait five minutes, please?” I asked before inhaling a mouthful of lukewarm scrambled eggs.

“Why?” Mina questioned warily at the same time Mavic demanded, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to eat. Then I’m coming with you to training.”

They hummed in simultaneous disapproval.

“No.”

“Not a chance. You have broken bones.”

“I’ll heal soon. I think I am already,” I told them, not entirely sure it was true. “Benefits of magic.”

“Soon isn’t right now,” Mavic objected. “If Winterton has a problem with you skipping out, I’ll tell him to shove it up his ass.”

“I’m not going for him!” My fiery words burned my tongue on the way out, surprising even me. “I’m sorry.” I calmed myself with a deep breath. “But I’m going. Please don’t try to stop me. I’ll use my queendom against you.”

Mavic snorted and narrowed his green eyes. “You wouldn’t dare. On us?”

I shrugged and took another bite of eggs. The urge to laugh was there, even if I couldn’t find it in me to do so. I wanted to curl back up in bed. I wanted to sleep the day away inside his sweater and pretend none of this was happening, but Shera was right. It wasn’t what he would’ve wanted, and I’d be damned if I was going to let either of us down.

I could feel trickles of power slowly returning. Still, going to training with a broken wrist and ribs was especially stupid, but I had to turn my mourning into rage or I would fade away. For now, I would try to ignore the pain and just heal the worst of my injuries when my power fully returned.

I limped across the courtyard and into the main hall behind the twins. Aghast faces turned to look at me from all angles. Elias started jogging toward me as soon as I entered the room.

“Fera,” he urged when I brushed past him toward a corner mat to stretch. When he noticed my limp, he winced and reached for my arm. “Let me⁠—”

“No!” I yanked myself out of reach. “I don’t want your help.”

“I need to speak with you.”