Page 123 of The Incendiary

We meandered to the side of the room where there were flutes of wine, pastries, and meat-and-cheese platters. The swell of excited voices blurred together in a dull roar. I often enjoyed being alone, but spending tonight with friends felt like wrapping myself in a warm blanket.

I thought I would blend in. Until I turned around and looked up from my plate to find that most of the room had watched me enter, and they were still watching me.

“Oh gods,” I whispered. “Why are they staring?”

“Probably because you’re hotter than Helios and Aesta’s love child.” Mavic took a casual sip of white wine out of a glass flute. “What?” He smirked and shrugged when I glared at him. “It’s a fact. Don’t look at me like you’ve never heard me speak the truth before.”

“You could be less forward, Mav,” Mina grumbled from my other side.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

I hardened my stare and hoped that would encourage people to go back to eating, drinking, and socializing rather than gawping at me. Elias stood across the hall looking painfully handsome in a black suit embroidered lavishly with gold. His thick bronze hair was slicked back, and the sharp angle of his clean jaw felt like it could slice me in half. Somehow, he even looked a bit taller than usual.

The same busty blonde from the other night clung to him like a parasite. When his eyes found mine, his bored expression brightened, and he lifted the hand not trapped by the blonde in a mockful little toast.

I offered a slight nod and lifted my glass in return to not be rude, but I didn’t smile. When I averted my gaze, I could still feel him watching. Even when I gave him my back to face Mina and the female cadet she was conversing with, the feel of his stare sent a chill down my spine.

Mavic was distracted talking with Yara, whose stunning yellow gown against her raven hair, dark eyes, and skin made her look like a summer goddess. She blushed and giggled at his playful eyes, light touches, and suggestive words. He was such a flirt, but at least he was honest and respectful about it.

Before the festivities went into full swing, Elias went to the platform at the front of the room and gave a short welcome to the cadets.

“May the Selvaren bless us on Reverie,” he began. I awkwardly startled when the crowd echoed it back. “Welcome, and thank you all for being here.” He lowered himself down to the first step. The crowd fell completely silent in respect. “You have all grown in these weeks—as fighters, as teammates, and, I hope, as friends. We have a long road ahead of us. Likely, a dark one. You will need each other. We”—his gaze swiftly raked over me—“will need each other.”

A pang of guilt in my stomach made it difficult to look at him.

“Tonight, we honor the gods, and all they have given us. The time, the lives, the sustenance and the shelter they have given us. Most important, the family and friends we hold dear, too many of whom have been taken by the violent hands of the Butcher and Molochai.”

I stared ahead numbly. It took everything in me not to cry out It wasn’t his choice! at the top of my lungs.

“They will be avenged,” Elias went on. “Tonight, on this blessed evening, that is my promise to you.” He lifted his glass. “Until then, we toast in honor of each soul unfairly ripped away. Tallai!”

The crowd echoed the celebratory word in the language of the gods. I did, too. A little behind the rest, because his promise to end the Butcher had thrown me. As did my guilt. Some of them looked so hopeless at the mention of a dark road ahead. I knew I had to reveal myself as soon as Commencement was over. I would tell Elias first so I could explain my choices. Hopefully he wouldn’t resent me too much.

A few musicians had traveled the short distance from the Caves for the celebration. Once Elias stepped down from the platform at the head of the room, they began to play, and the dancing began.

Mina and I agreed to stand off to the side and watch. I only allowed myself a single glass of wine, and she didn’t drink much either. We spoke in hushed tones and spent an hour gossiping and giggling over who we thought would be sharing a bed at the end of the night.

“The commander is still staring at you,” muttered Mina. “He has been all night. If Sophia Bruta gets any redder, she’s going to erupt.”

“Let him stare.” I popped a small tomato into my mouth and reveled in its crunch. I’d spent a good portion of the last hour trying to pretend he didn’t exist, but I noticed he hadn’t taken his blond friend to dance. Her deepening scowl gave away her irritation.

“Do you feel something for him, at least?” Mina leaned closer, covered her mouth, and whispered, “Since he’s the one you’re to marry.”

I let out a strained sigh. “Is he annoyingly beautiful and charismatic? Yes. Am I attracted to him? Unfortunately, also yes.” I hated how it sounded to admit it aloud. “Does that mean I have feelings for him? No, it does not.”

My body was more curious than I wanted it to be, but my heart was wherever Gavin was. I gave up trying to deny that to myself.

Like the end of a horribly planned joke, Elias chose that moment to walk up to us. Surprise graced his features at the sight of Mina, where his attention lingered. She gulped and dropped her chin. I knew how insecurity felt but wished she wouldn’t give him that power.

Elias’s stare ignited when he fixed it on me. “Dance with me, Fera.”

Mavic, with Yara on his arm, slid up to my side when Elias approached. My cheeks burned, already warm from the wine. His proposition—rather, his command—made my body constrict. I’d only ever danced with one man, and I’d felt a level of comfort, safety, and trust with him that I wasn’t close to feeling with Elias.

“Is that a request or a command?” I answered dryly.

“A request.” He leaned in and offered his hand. “Though I won’t leave you alone until you say yes.”

I cocked my head. “And if I say yes, do you promise to leave me alone for the rest of the evening?”