Page 85 of Filthy Twisted Devil

It's not like I can blame her. After all, I'm the one who started it.

I promised myself that I would tell Brinley the truth about my feelings for Luke. It’s a promise that I plan to keep, but I’m dreading her reaction. She might be furious with me about breaking my promise, or about how long it took me to tell her the truth. She might delight in an I-told-you-so speech about how she knew it was a bad idea from the start.

Those, I could handle. If she’s angry or imperious, our friendship can survive it.

What I’m most afraid of hearing is the truth. Brinley won't let me forget that Luke doesn't really want me, or anyone. She’ll make me face that Twisted Devil is the love of Luke’s life, and there’s no room in his heart for me.

So I've been avoiding Brinley since we got back from Sundre. Of course, I answer every text about the wedding promptly, but I've skipped the past four Wine Wednesdays, and every time she asks me to hang out, I find a convenient excuse. I know I need to work up the courage to tell her. I just need a little more time.

I’ll see her at Luke’s apartment tonight or tomorrow, anyway. I probably won't get a chance to tell her there, with all the people around and the baby excitement. At least I can chat with her about the wedding and the Peppermint Press, and catch up with her like a friend who isn’t terrified that she might lose two very important people.

Sighing, I put another napkin swan on the table. “I fold easier than you do,” I tell it.

It doesn’t reply, because it’s a napkin swan.

Unfortunately, disappearing into the flow of my work turns out to be impossible, because folding hundreds of napkins isn’t enough to really occupy my thoughts. I won’t just be seeing Brinley. I’ll also be seeing Luke. As complicated as things are, my days are always a little brighter when I have plans with him.

Ever since we left Sundre, I’ve given up on fighting how I feel. I’m giddy around him, giggling too hard at all his jokes, leaning eagerly into every casual touch, gazing dreamily at him when we’re across the room from each other. With Luke’s Air Canada deal on the horizon, we’ve been out on the town constantly, showing up anywhere an Air Canada exec might also happen to be. I don’t mind. We’re halfway through April, which means I only get six more weeks of being with Luke. I might as well enjoy it while I can.

There’s no pretending that avoiding him will make the end easier. It’ll hurt like hell, no matter what I do. So why worry now about future pain? I’ve always been a planner, so it makes sense that I managed to put heartbreak on my calendar. I know when it’ll hit. Till then, I’ll enjoy myself.

I’m almost finished with my pile of napkins when my phone buzzes.

Cat

Slight change of plans. Nate will never stop gloating about calling the midwife early, because my contractions went from 10 minutes apart to 6 minutes apart in an hour. So come on over, everyone. The baby is on her way.

Pippa

Thank god. Ryan started making cupcakes, and I needed a good reason to stop him.

Eden

Ten more swans and I’m on my way.

The whole city seems to be celebrating Cat’s birth, because cherry blossoms are blooming all over the city, their pink petals covering huge swatches of the sidewalk. It almost distracts me from my nerves on the drive over.

Almost.

I need to act normal around Luke in front of Brinley, and I need to pretend to Brinley that nothing’s wrong. If Maura’s birth is anything to go by, I might need to act normal for hours.

I don’t like my odds.

I park in the garage and hurry into the lobby. At the same time, Brinley walks through the front door. Apparently, the universe would rather I get this reunion out of the way sooner than later. Gathering my courage, I walk toward her and wave. “Brinley! Hey!”

Brinley does a double take when she sees me. “Eden Locke?” She gently pokes my arm. “It’s really you! In the flesh and not just on my texts.”

“Yeah, sorry. Work has me swamped.” I hug her, hopefully hiding my guilty expression.

“Work and my brother.” As always, Brinley insists on addressing elephants in rooms.

“Yeah. He has some big deal with Air Canada coming up and he needs my help on the charm offensive.”

“You’re being awfully generous with your time,” she says as we walk over to the elevator.

“He went all the way to Sundre, so I owe him.”

“Right. You brought him home to meet the family.”