Page 59 of AJ’s Fire

“Dinner now, or do you want …” AJ cut himself off without finishing the thought as he turned around and clocked my stare.

“I want …” I wanted so many fucking things. I wanted everything. I wanted him. But I knew I couldn’t have him. He’d said he’d be my fuck buddy. He was my best friend, and he was helping me out like a best friend would as I explored this part of myself. Much as he’d also said we’d figure stuff out together, every time I asked if we were just fuck buddies, he agreed.

Plus, there was a very real part of me that thought I might never be able to tell my parents I was bi. I felt like such a disappointment to them already. My parents weren’t homophobes, but I did think they enjoyed their position in society, and it was bad enough having a firefighter for a son. Having a son who’d kept a secret from them, who had managed to find another way to other himself. If I thought about it, the fact that it took me so long to realize I was queer might have had something to do with not wanting to discover another thing about myself that would burden my parents.

And they’d continued to push hard for me to date Emily, talking about the future of the company and low-key guilting me with the notion that if I wasn’t going to take over DE at some point, someone had to, and Emily was a logical choice. Since her move to New York, I’d become as noncommittal as I’d been as a teenager any time that my parents brought up Emily.

And I’d never even introduced them to AJ. All of a sudden, it was like the perfect Tetris piece falling into place and clearing a bunch of rows, revealing why that was the case. While my parents were careful not to look down on my career choice, they were always equally careful to remind me that people in jobs like mine, or more to the point, with salaries like mine, might want to take advantage of someone like Riley Jackson Dorso the Second. AJ, or anyone I brought home who wasn’t Wyecrest-level rich, would be presumed to be a gold digger by my parents. They were so eager to protect me from getting hurt that I just assumed they would look down on anyone in my life.

Hooking up, staying in the closet, so deep in the closet I didn’t even know, kept me from having to face that situation.

What I wanted from AJ was so much bigger than any one heated moment between us. I wanted the world to see the trust we had, the friendship, the love.

I couldn’t have all of that, but there was one thing AJ had said he would give me.

He was standing in the archway of my kitchen, looking back at me. “Jax?”

I stalked up to him and grabbed him by the hand, my inner caveman taking over, pushing all deeper thoughts and turmoil aside as I moved with purpose through the living room, my arm extended behind me as I tugged, and he followed.

“Okay, then,” I heard him mutter as I pulled him forward and shoved him to the couch.

“I want you.” I unzipped my hoodie and threw it to the floor, yanking my T-shirt off as well.

AJ sat up and grabbed my sides, holding tight for a second before running his hands around my torso as if he was mapping every muscle.

“Jax,” he breathed out.

My dick was already throbbing in front of his face. I stepped back. “Take those boots off, AJ, then follow me,” I said as I bent first one leg up and then the other and got rid of my socks. “Hurry up,” I commanded and scurried to my room to rummage through my nightstand. I found the bottle of lube right away but stood for a moment collecting myself. AJ wanted a fuck buddy, and I would give him a fuck buddy. I took a deep breath, part nervousness, part resignation. I shed my sweats and underpants and placed the bottle on the nightstand closest to the door. I lay prone on the bed with my head near the footboard and waited for AJ, hearing him head toward me shortly after I got settled.

“My God, Jax. Look at you,” he said, framed by the door. He’d shed everything but his briefs, and his look of surprise at seeing me naked quickly turned to a look of desire as he said those words like he was worshiping at an altar. So yeah, at least I turned him on. I propped myself up on my side to talk to him as he stood like a framed picture of an ancient god in my bedroom doorway.

“I want you inside of me again. I’ve been playing with myself all week, and it’s just not the same. I need to feel you, AJ. The way you stretch me out, the way you hit that spot. The heat.” I was getting worked up, and AJ’s hand had found its way to his crotch, pushing down on his dick. I clocked his arousal, hard and defying gravity through the black material. My gaze traveled up, and I thought I caught a moment of awkwardness as if he was uncomfortable. I sat up, and the question must have been on my face.

He explained. “No one’s ever looked at me like that before, Jax. No, that’s not quite right. The women, they look at me … you know … you know, they look at me like I’m Mr. July from the firefighter calendar.” Or like a Greek god, I thought to myself as I smiled at the man in my doorway. “They clock my muscles, or my size, or whatever.” He came closer, looking down at me, his eyes expressive and soft. “None of them see me, Jax. They only see …” His hand traveled up and down his body.

I worried that what he was saying was awfully close to him seeing how much I cared for him, and my brain raced to say something that would brush it off, but he continued before I could. “That’s what makes this so amazing, Jax. You’re already my best friend.”

He stepped between my legs, and I couldn’t help but reach up to pull him down and kiss the shit out of him, afraid of any words I might say in response.

He climbed onto the bed, pushing me down, his lips never leaving mine. When I was in a prone position, he stopped. “You’re upside down.”

I nodded and smiled, and his whole fucking face lit up just watching me do so. “The other day, you said you wanted to try …” I couldn’t get the word out, so I waved a hand between us, hoping he understood. “I figure we have all night. So we both need to prep. If you’re still into it.”

“Oh, I’m still into it.” He took a beat before he realized what I was asking. “Oh, okay. Both of us. Got it. Don’t move, cariño.”

Ignoring the soft word, I did as I was told. He clambered around the bed to grab the lube, positioning it close to my side. Then he lumbered over me, his big hairy thighs on either side of me, his dick in my face. I grabbed it and began licking, but then AJ lunged forward, bending down to first tongue a strip up my dick before going further, licking my balls and moving until he was at my hole.

He was licking back and forth from my balls to my hole, and I got distracted, arching my head back with an ungh as my hips gyrated of their own accord. The move gave him better access, and he began to lick around my hole gently, cautiously, and I imaged his dick thrusting in me with nowhere near as much caution. That’s when I remembered that his dick was practically slapping me in the face. I lay back flat and took hold of it, causing him to arch up and hiss. I took it in my mouth while I reached around and grasped his thighs, prickles from his coarse hair tingling through me, sending a spark through my already-overcharged body. I pushed on my hands, encouraging AJ to move up, locking my lips on his dick for a few beats, eliciting another moan as the angle changed, and it glided deeper into my mouth before popping out. I reached up then and strained to reach his hole.

Part of me still couldn’t believe any of this was what AJ wanted, but all I was doing was breathing on him, and he was moaning as he worked me over, the vibrations layering more sparks on my already-electrified being. I licked from his balls to his hole, like he’d done to me, and began to gently swirl my tongue over the hairy, puckered skin. I could feel his legs tense under my hands and his hole tightening. I pulled off. “I don’t have to.”

I started to reach for his dick again, but all he said was, “More,” before finding my hole again. For blissful minutes, we teased and matched each other with licks, kisses, gentle thrusts, and playful nips to thighs and buttocks. I dropped my head to rest my shoulders, taking his dick in hand and spreading pre-cum to jerk him off. He lifted up and kissed both of my thighs before swinging over my head and scrambling to the head of the bed. He took the lube with him as he sat up.

“C’mere,” he said as he planted his feet and exposed his hole. I sat up and looked at him, his face flushed, his hair a floppy mess, his dick glistening, his hole sloppy and wet. I turned to lie down between his legs, wanting nothing more than to continue my work.

“No, both.” He leaned toward me as I sat up, hooking his hands under my arms to pull me closer to him. We kissed, me on my knees between his, savoring the musky taste that must be similar to what he was sensing off me. It elicited a moan so guttural that my core muscles tightened, and a surge sent my dick twitching and spouting.

Gently, reluctantly, he pulled back and placed his fingertips to my chest, his other hand on my thigh, pulling until I spread my legs out over the top of his. He handed me a pillow, grabbed both legs, and whispered, “Lie back, cariño.”