Page 57 of AJ’s Fire

“No, just the entire section that he titled “The Love Poems.”

Natalie sighed and ignored my comment. “I worry about you boys.”

“I worry about him too, Nat. But he’s doing great. Vera’s doing great. I’m …” I looked up. Don’t know why, but it was like I could just sense him and sure enough, Jackson was striding down the sidewalk, earbuds in, his hands shoved in his FDNY-issued winter coat, his head down, fighting the wind. Just seeing him made my entire face light up. Hell, my whole body was smiling at him, screaming for him. “I’m doing okay, too, Nat. Maybe better than okay.”

“Does that mean you’ve met someone too?”

“Too? Which one of your kids is dating? Certainly not Josh or Vance. Is it …”

“Not ‘too.’ Forget I said that. You want to tell me more?”

“You know, Nat, I kinda do. But it’s early days, and I promised to keep it quiet.”

“Okay, AJ. Whenever you're ready, or whenever you need someone to talk to, you know I’m always here.”

“I do, Nat.” I really did.

“I’ll let you go. Love you.”

“Love you too,” I said distractedly, looking right at Jackson as he got closer and lifted his head. His eyes went wide, having heard me over the sound of the music blaring from his earphones.

“Bye, Nat,” I made a point of saying before hanging up the phone.

As bright as my smile shone, Jackson’s frown equaled it. He nodded tensely at me as he took his earbuds out.

“Talking to your stepmom?”

“Yeah, she’s worried about Jamie.”

“It’s going okay, though, right? With the roommate and with Vera leaving?” Jackson's tone and face showed his concern for Jamie, and that swooping feeling washed over me. I felt so drawn to him. He had to feel it too. I reached out my hand and grasped his forearm through the heavy jacket, hoping a simple squeeze could convey my feelings.

“We talked a little about how that guy is working at the same place Anna did, and how that’s got him a little weirded out, but I think he’ll be okay.” Hand still on Jackson’s arm, I leaned in. “I hope the guy likes his new bed. Probably a lot more comfortable without the plastic.”

Jackson yanked his arm away and shoved it back into his jacket pocket. “That right there, AJ. It might as well be a neon sign.” He might have had a point since my damn smile felt like it could light up the whole neighborhood.

“Okay, okay. I promise I’ll be good if I can come home with you after shift tomorrow. Stay the night?”

“You’ll be good?”

“I’ll be good today. I can’t promise what I’ll be tomorrow.” I turned and entered the fire hall, sensing Jackson behind me, and then we ran into Darren.

“If it isn’t Tweedle …” He smirked.

“I love how this guy thinks he can call us dumb and dumber when we’re on shift with the likes of him. Who’s cooking tonight, Darren? Isn’t it your turn? Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen?” I teased him right back.

“B Shift left a mountain of stew. We’re good.”

“How do you always get out of cooking?” It was nice to hear the lightness in Jackson’s voice.

“Oh, I know! B Shift has had his cooking before,” I teased. “Pretty sure they took pity on us and rescued us with leftovers,” I contributed as I headed to the lockers to stow my gear. Jackson did the same, and the banter continued among members of the crew. It was a perfectly regular start to a shift except everything felt different to me. New. Exciting. Jackson had to feel it too. Even if he was hesitant, he had to feel the energy pulsing through my body like lights flashing atop our rig.

“We’re gonna watch a movie,” Darren informed us. “It’s LT’s turn to pick. Some of us suggested a nice rom-com, but she’s queuing up some new horror movie. You two heading to the gym or joining us in the lounge?”

“Lounge,” we said simultaneously, and my stomach danced.

“Cool,” Darren said, heading in that direction and raising his voice as he entered the lounge. “But LT, this other one has Julia Roberts,” he whined. “Don’t you want to watch Julia Roberts fall in love instead of a bunch of teenagers getting their heads cut off?”

“Has he met Freeda?” I said at the same time Jackson muttered, “Not fucking likely.” I caught his eye, and for a brief, wonderful second I felt it. I felt the usual connection we would have had teasing a teammate, but I felt the ‘more’ too. The fire and the passion and the need to be connected.