Page 68 of The Fall

“How did this happen? I thought you hated him,” he says finally.

“I did hate him. Until I didn’t, I guess.”

“So, are the two of you together now?” he asks, rubbing his brow.

“Um, not technically. But I do have feelings for him, and I didn’t think it was fair to keep that from you anymore.”

Max nods and runs his hand through his hair. He sighs again before saying, “Alright, well, I’m happy for you, Sav.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, if you’re happy, I’m happy. I like Logan. You certainly could’ve done worse. I’m guessing you’re telling me now because it means our before comp deal is over. Though that kind of sucks for me.”

I nod. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Sav. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t wish it were me instead of him, but it is what it is. Was Tati ok with it since he’s our coach and all?”

I wince.

“She doesn’t know?”

I shake my head. “No one knows except you and Kelsey. And maybe Logan’s mom. I’m not sure.”

“Shit, Sav. You’re gonna get us in trouble. You’ve gotta tell her. If you’re going to fuck around with your coach, at least be above board with it.”

“I know. I know. I’ll tell her. I just… need time to figure out what this is. It’s so new.”

He sighs. “Fine. I’ll keep your little secret for now, but you better tell her soon.”

“I will. Thank you for being so understanding.” This went way better than I ever could’ve imagined. I can tell he’s disappointed, but at least he’s not mad. I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle that.

“Sav, you’re my friend, first and foremost. I think you probably know that I love you, but I know you don’t feel the same.”

“I’m sorry, Max.”

He waves me off. “Ah, don’t be sorry. It is what it is. I’ll be fine. I just want you to be careful. The longer you hide it, the worse it’ll look.”

I sigh. “Yeah, I’m afraid it’s going to look bad either way, but I know what you mean.”

“How long has this been going on?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, a few weeks, maybe?”

“A few weeks? You two managed to hide this from me for weeks?” he asks, surprised.

“It was hard. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was scared.”

He reaches out and squeezes my hand. “Sav, never be scared to tell me something, ok? We’ve always been honest with each other. That doesn’t need to stop just because your cold, black heart decided to have feelings for once.”

“Hey!” We both laugh, but he’s not wrong. I never thought we’d be here because of me. “So, we’re going to be ok?”

“We’re good. Maybe my broken heart and longing will make for even more chemistry on the ice.”

“Max!”

He laughs. “What? It’s true now that I know I can’t have you. Oh shit, am I gonna have to be careful about where I touch you? I wouldn’t want your boyfriend to get mad because I accidentally held your ass too long.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. Officially. And I don’t think he would be like that. He knows about our history and what skating with a partner entails. We don’t need to act different, ok? Like you said. We’re friends first and foremost.”