Page 32 of The Fall

LOGAN

I’m an idiot.

Savannah walks away from me in those tiny little spandex shorts, and I replay our conversation in my head. Why did I admit that I think she’s beautiful? Maybe it was the vulnerability in her eyes. Maybe I just wanted her to know. I don’t know. All I know now is that I’m her coach, and I just told her how beautiful she is. It’s beyond inappropriate.

And yet…

I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s almost as if I enjoy torturing myself.

“Max, I swear to god if you fall and break your leg, I’m going to kill you!” Savannah’s hands are on her hips as she yells up to him. He’s climbing all over the rocks around us. They aren’t particularly high, and if he did fall, he’d probably just have a few scrapes. But Savannah is super stressed, and the thought of her partner getting injured is not helping.

“I’m fine!” he calls down to her.

“Max!”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming down.” Instead of climbing back down, which I’m sure Savannah would prefer, he jumps, and she gasps.

He laughs as he lands, and as soon as he’s on the ground, Savannah punches him in the shoulder.

“You’re an idiot.”

“An idiot you love.”

I truly cannot figure out what is going on between these two. They don’t really act like they’re in a relationship, but I don’t doubt that they’re sleeping together or at least have in the past. I hate that he knows her body intimately. I hate it because I’m jealous. And I fucking hate being jealous.

It’s embarrassing that I’m relieved when she doesn’t admit that she loves him. She simply shakes her head and walks off while Max heads toward me.

“You guys good?” He nods in the direction Savannah walked away. “Looked like you were having an intense conversation. I was trying to give you some space.”

“Yeah, she’s just stressed. We were just talking through it.”

His brows furrow. “She came to you about that? She hasn’t mentioned anything to me.”

I shrug, playing it off like it’s no big deal when really, I like that she told me something she hasn’t told him. “I kinda pulled it out of her.”

“Gotcha. Well, that’s a good sign that she’s talking to you now. Maybe she’s finally lifting that grudge.”

“Yeah…” I pause, and before I can think better of it, I say, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, man. What’s up?”

“Are you two...?”

He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck before I can even finish my question. “Together?”

I nod. I shouldn’t be asking this, but I just need to know. I also know I have a better chance of getting the truth from Max than from Savannah.

“Not in the sense of what you’re probably thinking. We sleep together occasionally. Usually, before a competition or big event. It tends to help her relax, you know.”

“So, you just fuck around?”

“Um, yeah, I guess. Between the two of us, I’ve kinda always wanted more with her.” Shit. “But she’s always been adamant that she doesn’t want a relationship. So, I just take what I can get from her.”

He looks after her longingly, and I realize that he’s in love with her. Poor guy. If she’s brushed him off for this long, it’s probably never going anywhere. I wonder if he realizes that. I’m not going to be the one to tell him that, though.

“Why do you ask? Are you, uh, interested in her or something?”

“No,” I lie. “No, I was just curious from a coach’s standpoint, I guess. It’s none of my business, really.”