Page 25 of The Fall

Afterward, they head to dance and then yoga. I stay behind because Tati is coming in for a few hours this afternoon, and she wants to talk to me. I wait for her in the room that she’s claimed as her office.

“How’s your mom?” she asks as soon as she walks in the door.

“She’s ok right now. The doctors seem optimistic, which has done a lot for Mom’s mental health at least.”

“Good. And how are you doing with all of it?”

“Good.” Not many people know about my mother’s cancer, so not many people ask how I’m doing. Truthfully, it feels wrong to complain about anything when my mom always tries to have a positive attitude. She’s the one in pain. Not me.

She narrows her eyes at me. “How are you really?”

“I’m… fine.” I let out a sigh. “I’m too scared to let myself be hopeful right now.”

She nods in understanding. “Your mom is strong. She’ll get through it.”

“I know.” That’s what people keep telling me. It’s what I thought the first go-round with the cancer. But I’ve seen how low it can bring a person, and I never want to see my mom like that again.

“Let’s get down to business. How are things going with Max and Sav?”

“Good. I’m proud of their progress.”

“Has she lightened up on you any yet?”

I rub the back of my neck. “Uh, no, not really.”

Tati laughs. “But she’s listening? Not causing any trouble?”

“She’s good. Done everything I’ve asked of her with a scowl on her face.”

Tati laughs. “Yeah, I know that scowl all too well. If she gets too hard to handle, let me know and I’ll step in. I just wanted to let the two of you try to work it out first.”

“I appreciate that. I think we’re good, though.”

She nods and starts talking about other things: costumes, bookings, and a photoshoot she wants me to schedule for them soon. I write things down on my notepad, but my mind keeps drifting back to the way Savannah looked at me earlier. The way her lips parted and her pupils dilated. She can say she hates me all day long, but that doesn’t mean she’s not attracted to me.

I must be a sucker for pain because I like that she’s attracted to me even though she’s trying her hardest not to be.

Tati leaves before Max and Savannah are back on the ice. The afternoon flies by as we work on the routine and technique. Before I know it, the day is over, and it’s time for them to go.

Once they’re in the locker rooms, I lace up my skates. I’ve started to really like my evening skating routine. I’m not nearly at the level I used to skate, but it keeps me moving. My mind is always clearer on the ice.

Savannah comes out of the locker room right as I’m about to step onto the ice. Before I can think about it, I’m meeting her halfway and asking her to skate with me.

“I can’t tonight.”

My shoulders slump slightly at her rejection. “Alright.”

She looks over her shoulder as if she’s making sure no one is there. “Next time, though.”

I nod as she starts to walk off.

“Hey, Savannah?”

She turns and takes a step back in my direction. “Yes, Coach?”

“I did want to kiss you,” I admit. “The other night.” I don’t know why I said it, but for some unknown reason, I needed her to know.

She smirks. “I know.”