Page 9 of Bittersweet Redemption

His cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink. He’s been begging to play soccer for months, and one of my clients told me about a budget-friendly soccer program for younger kids, so I jumped on it. “Yeah. I’m excited.”

“Yeah, he was practicing with our neighbor this morning,” I tell her.

“Mr. Kai was the goalie.”

Kayla eyes me suspiciously through the mirror but addresses Roman. “That’s awesome, buddy.”

“Mommy, I’m gonna go play.” He holds up his gaming device.

“Ok, just come get me if you need anything.” He nods and walks to the back room, essentially our break room, with a table, a fridge, some snacks, and a small TV. Nothing special, but he’s pretty good at keeping himself occupied.

Once he’s gone, Kayla asks, “So, uh, Mr. Kai?” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. “That’s a hot name.”

I laugh. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Spill it, girl. Is he hot? Is he single?”

I shrug. “Yeah, he’s pretty hot. I think he’s single, but I’m not sure.” I haven’t seen the girl from that first day come back or noticed any other women leaving his place in the morning, but that doesn’t mean he’s single. There’s no way in hell I’m asking him.

“Are you going to try to, you know?” She smirks, and the client she’s working on looks at me and smiles through the mirror. Heat spreads up my neck at the thought of Kai and me doing anything together.

“Uh, no,” I say. “He doesn’t like me very much.”

She crinkles her eyebrows in confusion. “Why?”

Kayla doesn’t know much about my past before I started cosmetology school. I don’t particularly like to broadcast the fact that my ex used to steal, and I would accompany him on his outings. I’m sure my name would come up as testifying in Kai’s case if you searched me. I had just turned eighteen, so my name was released in the transcripts. But I don’t think any of my friends have had any reason to look me up on the internet. At least, no one’s mentioned anything about it.

So I keep my explanation simple and vague. “I met him once when I was with Nick years ago. Nick pissed him off, which means I pissed him off by association.”

Kayla frowns. “Well, that’s lame. Nick is ruining your life even when you aren’t together anymore.” I’ve told Kayla bits and pieces of my previous relationship. She knows about the cheating and the manipulation, but that’s about as much as I was willing to tell her.

“Yeah, well, it is what it is.”

She stays silent for a minute but then adds, “You know, you don’t have to punish yourself forever.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh, come on, Willa. It’s been over a year. You haven’t gone on a single date. You never do anything for yourself. Your life revolves around that little boy. And I get it. He’s the most important. But you gotta take care of yourself too.”

My lips purse together. Am I punishing myself? I fell into Nick’s trap over and over again. I stuck around after we had Roman because I wanted Ro to have a family. I loved Nick. And I think he loved me in his own fucked up way. But I hate that it took me so long to see that it was Nick’s world, and Roman and I were just along for the ride. He didn’t need us.

Saving me from further scrutiny, the door opens, and Mrs. Cutler walks in, the conversation dropping. I plaster on a smile. “Hey. Come on over.”

“Hey there, Willa girl. How you doin’ today?”

“Just peachy, Mrs. Cutler.” I smile at her as she sits down in my chair, and I put the cape over her. “We doing the usual color today?”

“Oh, yes, sweetie. I don’t wanna be playin’ around with any colors before my son’s big day. I’m gonna have to look at these pictures for the rest of my life.” She laughs.

“Alright. Let me go mix it up. Be right back.”

I check on Roman, who is intently playing some video game, probably a racing game if I had to guess. Then I mix up the color and get started.

Once Mrs. Cutler is colored, washed, dried, styled, and out the door, I say a quick goodbye to Kayla before Roman and I race to his soccer practice. We run up to the field just as practice is starting. I toss him his ball and he runs out to the rest of his teammates.

I sit on the grass next to the other parents in their portable chairs. I keep telling myself to get one of those, but I always end up spending that money on something we need more. I don’t mind sitting on the grass anyway. The other parents don’t really talk to me, not that I make an effort, so I sit near the sidelines on my own.

Roman absolutely kills it at practice. I couldn’t be more proud of him. He was drenched in sweat by the time it was all over, but he had the biggest smile on his face and thanked me over and over for signing him up. It’s these moments that make it all worth it.