Page 45 of Bittersweet Redemption

“Thank you, Kai.” He tries to look away again, but I stop him before his eyes get too far. I rub my thumb gently across his swollen bottom lip. “Thank you. Truly.” I lean down and kiss him. It’s a slow kiss. An exploratory kiss. Different from our usual kisses when we’re in the heat of the moment. It’s the first time we’ve kissed like this, and it makes my stomach flutter. He doesn’t push me away like I expect him to. Instead, he kisses me back. He lets me thank him with my mouth. When I finally pull back, I feel more breathless than I did after he gave me my last orgasm. Kissing Kai is something I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. Or want to give up.

I settle back in next to him and enjoy this moment of cuddling. I don’t think he’s big on the act of cuddling, but I take advantage of this vulnerable moment between us. His thumb strokes my arm, and I lean closer to his chest.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask him.

“Mm-hmm.” He traces a slow circle.

“Where’s your mom?” His finger stops moving for a minute before he continues. I’m not sure what made me ask it. Maybe I’m feeling extra regretful today. I remember her face when the guilty verdict was read. I’ll never forget it.

“She’s still in Tennessee.”

“Is that where you’re from?” I never looked up anything about him during or after the trial. I felt bad enough about what I’d done. I didn’t need any more reasons to hate myself.

“Yeah. That’s where I grew up. I was in Atlanta for a conference when everything happened. Kellan moved down here for college to be closer to me, but my mom still lives up there.”

“She doesn’t miss her boys?”

“I talk to her at least once a week. She and Kellan aren’t on great terms. She felt like he wasn’t doing enough to get me out. It’s kind of a shitty situation. I knew I wanted to be near Kel and Riley when I was released, so I decided to stay.”

“Do you miss Tennessee?” I might as well keep asking questions since he’s willing to answer them.

“Not really. We didn’t live in a great area. Kel and I used to get in trouble all the time.” He smiles like he’s thinking about a certain memory. “By the time I was out, I didn’t really know anyone back home. All the people I thought were my friends didn’t contact me. It just didn’t feel right going back there.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

After a few beats of silence, Kai asks, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” My mind races with the millions of different questions he might ask me.

“Why did you do it? Why did you testify that you saw me rob that jewelry store?”

Shit. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me something like this right out of the gate. My body tenses, and my mind goes to the worst-case scenario.

“Is this why you’re sleeping with me?” I try to pull away, but his arm keeps me locked to his side. “To find out something that can trap me? Or use my body against me?” I had hoped we’d moved past this.

“Calm the fuck down.” He tightens his arm around me. “I’m sleeping with you because if I don’t, I’d be sitting in here driving myself crazy thinking about you.” My stomach flutters. It’s so hard for me to believe that a man like Kai would want me. I’m a single mom who barely makes enough money to keep her head above water and looks like a hot mess more often than not. “I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious why you did it. There’s no secret plan or hidden agenda or whatever the fuck your mind just went to.”

My eyes burn from the tears threatening to spill. I’m so ashamed of what I did to Kai. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t hate myself for it. But if I tell him the truth, I’ll sound pathetic. And he’ll know I lied on the stand. I don’t think he can do anything about it after this many years, but it still makes me nervous to say the truth out loud. I retracted my statement by saying I couldn’t remember exactly who I saw, but the truth is, I know who committed the crime and was even in on it.

“I thought I saw you or someone similar to you.”

“Hmm.” He knows I’m lying. His eyes search my face, and I have to look away. “You don’t trust me enough to be honest with me yet?”

“Should I trust you?” I ask quietly.

“I could ask you the same question.” Silence falls over the room. I imagine we’re both thinking about what we’re doing and how we ended up in this situation. But instead of talking about it like mature adults, we ignore it. We both lie back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. Our cuddling moment is over, and I feel like it’s probably time for me to go.

After a few silent moments, I tell him good night and head back to my room where I can be with the one person I know I can trust—Roman.

I toss and turn all night, thinking about that night and the look on Kai’s face when the police handcuffed him. I could tell he was wasted. Everyone on the street could tell he was wasted. His arm tattoos were exposed that night, perfectly fitting my description. As much as I hate it, I knew the cops would go along with my story because Kai looked the part. I felt sure they would release him after they realized there wasn’t any other evidence. Turns out my testimony was the only evidence they needed. Nick made me go along so that no one would point the finger back at him. He never once came to any of the hearings or police interviews with me. I remember feeling like I was going to be sick before each one. It was a terrible time in my life. I cried so much the day of the sentencing. I waited until I got into my car and bawled my eyes out, knowing I had ruined someone’s life. Watching his mother cry in the courtroom is a sight I’ll never forget.

* * *

The next morning, we both act like everything is fine. And through my exhaustion, I keep a smile on my face.

Kai wakes up earlier than he normally does and has breakfast with us. Thankfully, there’s no ominous note on the door when I take Ro to the bus stop. Kai sits in the kitchen and talks with me as I make my lunch for the day, even kissing me goodbye before I leave. We’re creating a strange dynamic, and I’m starting to like it. But I’m still nervous about letting my guard down all the way.

I’m almost dreading the day that Roman and I have to move back into our house, which is closer every day. My landlord is just waiting for the stove to be delivered and installed this weekend.