Page 4 of Fall into Place

Ruby: Tumblr, reddit, the usual. FeudieTok, obviously.

Cat: So, are there…a lot of people who think vampires are real?

Ruby: Listen, what we lack in numbers we make up in sheer unhinged fortitude. No, but really, I’ve met some awesome people in the Feudie forums. One truther was a PhD student at Columbia, she wrote a really thorough essay explaining the theories that went viral after it got picked up by BuzzFeed last year.

Cat: Oh shit, I think I remember that!

Ruby: Anyway, we’re going to get way more into the vampire-truther conspiracies in a minute, but first, if you’re feeling like a vampire who can’t get any sleep, you might benefit from SheCalm, which are medical-grade, all-natural CBD gummies clinically proven to help with relaxation and insomnia, specifically formulated for women.

Cat: How is it different from CBD for men?

Ruby: It comes in a pink bottle.

Cat: Can’t argue with that! We’ll be back right after this.

——Forwarded Message——

From: Joni Chaudhari

To:

Sent: August 6, 11:26 AM

Subject: *~invitation~*

You are cordially invited

to Joni Chaudhari’s

TWENTY-NINTH MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY!!!!!­!!!!!­!!!!!­!

The theme is Blood Feud, so come dressed in your most fabulous vampire attire! Even if you think it’s lame, just do it anyway, stop taking yourself so seriously and I promise you’ll have fun.

The deets:

Joni’s place

Saturday night, 6 p.m.

Don’t be cheap, bring nice booze

(we will have ~blood punch~ but the rest is up to you!)

Hope to see you then!!

——Forwarded Message——

From: Professor Lareina Vázquez

To: Tess Rosenbloom

Sent: August 8, 3:01 PM

Subject: Question

Hi, Tess—it’s been a long time. Joni mentioned her vampire party the other day and it made me think of you; I asked how you were doing, but she didn’t know. In any case, the timing was fortuitous. One of my researchers just informed me she’ll be transferring to UC Boulder this semester, which means I have some unexpected additional PhD funding, and I thought of you—any chance you’d consider returning to the program? Let me know if you’re interested and we can discuss next steps. Thanks—speak to you soon. Hope you’re doing better. LV

“We can’t do this.” Isobel glowered at Callum.