Page 82 of Ruthless Blade

The rink stood in front of me, the beautifully laid ice waiting patiently for me to take the dive and lace up my skates. I stood inside the doors for a second too long, and I couldn’t move.

You can do this. Once again, you can conquer your biggest fears.

"You okay?" Hazel asked, not looking up from her laces.

"I'm fine."

"You've been standing there for like ninety seconds."

"I'm counting my blessings."

She snorted, and it made me want to laugh. I sat down next to her and pulled my skates out. She shoved my shoulder playfully, “Stop stressing so much. I’m here and Dad is around. You aren’t alone this time. Let loose and let go.”

I took a deep breath, easier said than done.

I laced my skates a little slower than I used to, testing the tightness against ribs that still complained about anything too snug. When I stood up, my legs wobbled for half a second before muscle memory kicked back in.

"Ready?" Hazel asked.

I shook my head, “Nope.”

She rolled her eyes, “Come on. It’ll be fine.”

The first few strides were the hardest.

I skated deliberate loops around the rink, keeping close to the boards at first, one hand trailing along the edge like I was thirteen and learning all over again. I breathed through my nose, trying to ignore the slight pain. Hazel skated a few lengths ahead, giving me space without disappearing, glancing back every so often.

“You alright?”

I nodded, but didn’t respond.

Suddenly, APT by Rose and Bruno Mars came on the speaker, and my hips started to move. I let myself get lost in the music and one by one, my legs glided me away from the wall, and out to the middle of the rink.

Hazel was in front of me, doing her own thing, but I turned my back to her and skated backwards, trying to continue to get myself even more comfortable.

My mind drifted to Kayden. It was always to him. My heart was filled with both pain and adoration for the man I couldn't get out of my system. Hazel and I watched the draft. We held hands, felt nauseous, and got angry together when at each turn it wasn't Dylan or Kayden's name called.

Then Dylan got his answer and we celebrated but my stomach still rolled for Kayden. Why hadn't he been called. Was it because of me? Because of what he did to Garcia? Was he being punished?

Rationally I knew it was still early, and that sometimes the top players got chosen later in the process. That didn’t mean I wasn’t freaking out.

Then, it was the Cobras on the clock. My heart was pounding so fast like it would beat out of my chest. The General Manager stood at the mic, and silence followed. It was as if I knew, this was his moment. His shot. They needed a Center and they were an amazing team. Time stood still as I heard Kayden's name get announced. We rejoiced in dancing, laughing, and screaming out in support, but then the reality came crushing down.

He’ll be states away.

At least then I knew it hadn't been because of the fight with Garcia. Both Ivy and Garcia had been arrested and charged ...

I thought back to the man I loved and how he was going to be states away, and how I’d wished I would’ve told him how I felt. I’m such an idiot.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, the pain of him being too far away, and falling in love with someone else heavy on my mind. My body became numb, my legs gliding along naturally, but everything else was stiff because my thoughts drifted toward darkness instead of light.

Get out of my head Kayden. Ugh!

I didn’t know how long I'd been out there; twenty minutes, maybe thirty? Hazel was off the ice, and as I looked around, she was sitting on the benches, headphones in, face buried in her phone.

I released a heavy breath, shoulders falling, knowing I wasn’t alone. She’s still here.

Thank fuck.