Page 74 of Ruthless Blade

"And you’re going to keep punishing yourself for it?” Kellan asked. "Starving, not sleeping, running yourself into the fucking ground right before the combine? That's your plan?"

"I don't have a plan."

"That's the problem," Dylan said.

"You've wanted this...since you were little. Don’t let what happened with her screw up the only thing you’ve dreamed about. She wouldn’t want that for you. Hell, neither would Jake.”

Fuck, these assholes. I swallowed, my throat parched, like I hadn’t drank anything in hours. Maybe they’re right. I need to fucking wake up because even if I lose her for good, I can’t lose everything else. Life will go on with or without me.

“Fine,” I stood up and stretched.

“You’ve been cooped up in that apartment. Grab a bag, and come back to the hockey house for a few nights. Being by yourself twenty-four-seven isn’t doing you any good. We’re having a party and you’re fucking coming.”

Demanding assholes.

"I’m not in the mood.”

"Good thing nobody asked what you wanted," Torin grinned. "You’re going. This is the last one before we all go our separate ways."

"I have training in the morning."

"You have training every morning," Dylan rolled his eyes. "One night off isn't going to kill you. Might actually help, believe it or not. You're wound so tight you're gonna blow. I'd rather you snap on a dance floor with a beer in your hand than snap in the middle of a scouting interview."

Touche.

“One night, that’s all you assholes get.”

"That's my boy," Kellan said, clapping me on the back hard enough to make me stumble forward.

Fuckers.

As soon as I parked the car in the driveway, the music from the living room was loud enough that it overpowered the stereo in the car. Fuck, they really are trying to wake the whole damn neighborhood. I turned off the engine and sat, not wanting to be around people.

The only one I want to be around doesn’t care to be around me.

When I got inside, bodies were everywhere. Dancing, making out, playing beer games. It was wild. The smell of piss and alcohol made me want to vomit. I didn’t realize how much I’d grown up in the last year, but college parties were a thing of the past. I didn’t enjoy them as much as I used to.

"Kayden!" Someone shouted from across the room, and before I could figure out who, I was being pulled into a bear hug by one of the freshman defensemen, beer sloshing dangerously close to my shirt.

"Uh, hey," I said, patting his back and extracting myself. He didn’t say a word, just nodded and went off to find a girl. Weird.

Kellan handed me a cup. "Drink.”

I saluted him, “Yes, sir.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re a jackass.”

A smile tilted my lips, “Goes both ways.”

Torin had commandeered the kitchen table for beer pong, and within ten minutes he'd roped me into a game against two guys from the football team who clearly thought their size gave them an advantage.

It didn't.

We crushed them two games in a row, and for the first time in weeks, I laughed. A real one, not the practiced one I gave scouts.

"See," Dylan teased, appearing at my side with a grin. "Was that so hard?"

I shoved him, and he slightly lost his balance. A laugh escaped my lips.