Page 4 of Ruthless Blade

Thirty minutes. That’s how long it would take for the bus to arrive at the station. Mom would be waiting, putting a fake smile on her face like she was happy to see me. My phone was turned down so I couldn’t see the screen, counting down each minute knowing I would meet my doom sooner or later.

What was wrong with me? Shouldn’t I be happy for her? That she had found someone who could make her happy?

The sane part of me knew this was a bad idea. Losing a husband and son changes a person. It changed her drastically. The woman I’d known to love us unconditionally, to put our needs before her own, had completely gone off her rails. Instead of the sweet, caring woman I once knew, she had turned into a different person.

There was a pang in my heart because it was like I hadn’t just lost my dad and brother; I had also lost her. The woman she once was died right along with them.

She didn’t care about anything except finding a man with a giant pocketbook, because she had already spent all of my dad’s life insurance. She’d never been great with money, and she wasn’t starting off well on her own.

When she called and told me she had met someone, I instantly knew the guy had to be rich. Just give him a chance, Lex. You never know; you might like him. And he has a son your age! You could have another brother...Right there after she had said those words, I knew she had lost her mind. Another brother? I didn’t want another brother. I wanted my brother back. I didn’t want another dad. I didn’t want to replace the two people who meant more to me than anything in the world.

I would be respectful, sure, but that was it. I wouldn’t go on family outings with them. I wouldn’t hang out with the stepbrother like I was sure she wanted. These people would never bring them back.

My hand immediately went to my wrist, pulling my sleeve down in an effort to hide the scars. If she knew, she would lose her shit and send me to a mental hospital. She couldn’t worry about her daughter being in pain because the only thing that mattered was her pain.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are now reaching Woodland Park. Please make sure you collect all of your belongings. The bus will be leaving soon after drop-off, to move onto the next destination.” The driver came on the announcements, and my heart did a little flip.

Woodland Park was much smaller than Colorado Springs. The town I grew up in had about 9,000 people, and everyone mostly knew everyone. I let out a big sigh, and reached for my backpack when the bus stopped. I waited for people to shuffle around me, clearly in no hurry to get off the bus.

When there were about five people left, I put my backpack on my shoulder and shuffled out of my seat. I thanked the older driver and got off the bus.

There she is.

Tall, blonde and beautiful. Dad always said Mom was the most stunning woman he’d ever seen. That’s probably how she had managed to snag someone so soon after everything. A bright smile that didn’t reach her eyes appeared on her face when she saw me.

She rushed over, took me in a hug that lasted a little too long, and grabbed my bag. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you!”

Yeah, well that’s what happens when you forget to be a mom.

It was spring in Colorado, with temps in the seventies. The bus station had trees and flowers all over the place. To a tourist, it was beautiful. To me, it wasn’t snow and ice.

Winter was always my favorite because I could go outside and skate without a care in the world. I guess I should say it used to be my favorite. Now, I didn't have a favorite season because I couldn’t enjoy the thing I loved most.

Mom led me out of the bus station and over to her brand new, white 4Runner. Where part of that money went. She opened the trunk and tossed my bag back in before closing it. Her blue eyes met mine as she huffed impatiently. “What are you waiting for?”

I looked away from her and toward the SUV. I swallowed the lump in my throat as memories threatened to rush back. I closed my eyes and tried breathing through my nose. Deep breaths. Focus. Slow your breathing; think about the essay you’re working on. You’re okay. Everything is okay.

I went through my mantra, trying my best to calm down when her voice cut through my focus like a broken vase. “Get in the car Lexi; you’re fine.” Her voice was cold and detached. Straight to the point, wanting to cut off all emotion.

I gritted my teeth and opened the passenger door. I slid in, refusing to say a word or acknowledge her. She started the car, and as I trained my gaze on the outside of the window, focusing on everything else around, she pulled out and made the fifteen minute trek to the house.

She drove us through town and everything seemed normal. People were out and about downtown, some regular folks and others who were tourists. They were shopping, laughing, and eating without a care in the world. She ditched taking a left at the light, and once we reached the end of downtown, she took a right.

I sat up straight. “Where are we going?”

“Home.”

“I’m not sure if you’ve been so busy that you forgot, but home is back that way.” I pointed behind us, doing my best to alert her of the mistake.

She hummed to her music, completely ignoring me. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and texted Hazel.

Lex: She has completely lost her mind.

Three dots appeared on the screen.

Hazel: What do you mean?

Lex: She is taking us in a completely opposite direction from where our home is. WTF.